I wonder if the DJ 3000 actually replaced the Hill Man.
I'm thinking back to something about being a professional beach bum and ranting about ultraviolent shock films with washed-out colors and films about surrealistic alien invasions while on a beach or at least in a room with a ton of sand dumped everywhere and a tree from a Polynesian-themed restaurant.
And I'm imagining this.
Oh, yeah, and the sporking. Here you go.
Another short chapter in which nothing happens. In fact, throughout this whole update, very little of interest happens.
Someone tells Hans that it's permissible for him to lie under oath. I guess if you're hiding Jews. Hans is hesitant about killing, after all, he only killed one guy, and shooting them is far less close up than jamming nails into his arm.
Hamilton is able to fight off forty Janissaries. That's as many as four tens. I guess they were all taught at the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
"Crap!" he said aloud is bad writing. Don't do it. I'm not as good a writer as Vox Day thinks he is, but I know bad writing when I see it.
Meara keeps a young child on a leash. He leaves him behind when he waddles away. You can always tell who's supposed to be the bad guy: they're physically ugly and utterly repulsive inside and out. They have to make them worse; the good guys were involved in ethnic cleansing in the Philippines and a brutal annexation of Canada just to get rid of the Muslims that had the gumption not to die quietly. Speaking of the Philippines, what the fuck is going on there right now? Obviously Kratman thought the Muslims there were too sympathetic in their quest to overthrow the American Empire and their dark elven elites.
His thought process is something akin to "they'll commit arson, murder, and jaywalking." He really actually does think "People will be mean to me!" because he's a fucking stereotype like everyone else in this novel.
He quivers like the product of a jell-o mold. Seriously, Kratman, did you write that? Because that was terrible. It's no "in that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that is not a chicken," which is the worst line in published literature, or even "having a witness was an ancient tradition, a tradition so old it was archaic," the second worst line I've ever read, but it's quite terrible nonetheless.
Note: Jell-o is how it's written in the book. Not sorry. I am, however, sorry for calling one of the characters Gabriella at several points.
There are five million Muslims in Germany by 2016. Then there are a mere ten million after the war, and they're all radicalized as a result of the war and as a result of their second class citizenship. I don't think Kratman wants me to sympathize with them but I am going to anyway. Some people disagree with that, they're just inherently radical. Gabrielle doesn't believe this but she's a stupid Eurotrash liberal so she's wrong, duh. Germany establishes sharia courts. It did nothing to stem their outrage. In fact, the Muslim inhabitants are crossing the line between normal everyday villainy and into cartoonish supervillainy.
Also, white people don't rape in this world. Fuck you, Tom Kratman
No, I still don't understand why Europe attracted the more conservative strains. Perhaps the Arab Spring drove them out and let the Arabian Republic suffer nuclear annihilation without them.
No, I don't understand why Kratman felt he had to describe Anti-Fascist Action in that manner. I think it's because this would basically be three interconnected short stories if it wasn't for all the infodumping and other exposition.
I still haven't figured out why the history excursus was there if this is the origin of the caliphate right. It's 120,000 words, decent-length. It doesn't seem as long as The War In Heaven. War in Heaven is shorter, at just over 100,000 words. Maybe it's because it's hilariously bad rather than incredibly dull.
If I was writing it, they'd all be oppressed by the holographic head of Bat Yeor telling them what to do and they'd be messing with a religion based around the worship of a nameless erotic poet and her prophet.
Really, a despotic government by the holographic head of Bat Yeor is the only reason I can even get through this.
Once again, I have no idea what Ar-Ramstei is, once again, Kratman wasn't even trying with his attempts at Arabizing his place names.
Petra doesn't like how she's attacking white people pressed into service rather than genuine Arabs. So much for her being in any way sympathetic.
Hamilton explains how he's going to torture the Canadians. If they look at each other or in any way try to communicate with one another, they get a foot smashed with a hammer. If they disagree on something, each of them gets a toe smashed to a pulp. Does it occur to them to just think "fuck this" and say no to everything?
And oh, fuck, he's resorting to the stuff of urban legends and soccer hooligans. This is sickening in more than one way.
Stuff like this where the heroes are jerkasses at best and the writer has to make the designated villains irredeemably sadistic is called Designated Hero syndrome.
A conversation about penis size? What the fucking fuck?
You'd think any military based around the idea of "if a bullet hits something, it hits something" would use chainguns and Katyushas and anything else with excessive amounts of dakka, but they don't.
Pretty much every modern weapon works on the principle of there can never be enough dakka. It takes 250,000 bullets to kill one insurgent in Iraq, for fuck's sake.
The narration calls the people who slashed Amal's face open because they're evil "animals." That actually makes me think of various online forums and how you can always tell the ethnicity of a criminal by the presence or lack thereof of terms like savages and animals. And it's not a Muslim thing if it only happens in urban legends and in Pan's Labyrinth. Then they steal forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible! And then they get some beanbags and decorate them with frosting so that when people slice the cakes, the beans fall out and make a horrid mess and when they get up to clean up the mess, the beans on the ground mess that up too and they fall over just like the blue beast from King's Quest V.
Gabrielle says the Germans should have gassed the Arabs, even after they already nuked them a bunch. Final Fantasy XII this is not.
Burning Question: Am I the only person who finds a neo-Nazi named Jeffrey Harbin hilarious?
Burning Question 2: Also, am I the only person who reads that the anti-vaccine movement is targeting Somalis and thinks this scam isn't ignorant, it's malicious? There was a Larry Niven article a few years back about spreading rumors about organ trafficking in American hospitals to keep them out. And Vox Day's part of the anti-vaccination movement and has said many racist things. Try them for crimes against humanity and literature.