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destruction

into the mouth of the lion

Posted on December 19, 2016 at 7:55 pm
Mood: Pyrroglaux
Now Playing: Ray Noble & His Orchestra - Midnight, The Stars, And You
It's too cold to be in the Christmas spirit so I've been listening to music from The Shining. I had Midnight, The Stars, and You stuck in my head, and a few nights ago, I didn't get to sleep.
I know it's Christmas, not St. Ajora's Day. And I know Santa lives at the North Pole, and the North Pole was cold but now it isn't, that's, uh, that's called climate change, Morty.
Someone said that horror is best enjoyed in a group and I disagree because horror is in part about isolation. People go mad from the isolation. People go out alone and get killed by the monster.

Molly likes flamethrowers, especially when they're used to clear snow. It wouldn't help with the cold if someone were to put Saint Basil's Cathedral and the Kremlin or for that matter Mar A Lago to the flamethrower but it would make me immensely happy. She has a calico cat named Gwendolyn, which is aww. She saw a purse that looks like an owl and we think the feathers actually look like a big toothy grin. She says that after 11 PM is when we release the monsters. She's not an artist, and by that, I mean she can barely draw a stick figure, but she does like to read. Except 50 Shades of Grey. She has a friend from South Africa who has never seen snow.

I don't know who drew the intricate flowers or wrote something about made with elf tears but Leah drew dragonflies. She also likes to paint or draw landscapes and spent a week doing self-portraits. She was out shopping and all the stores she went to had the same playlist of Christmas songs. To be fair, there aren't that many Christmas songs out there.

It's quiet at the wildlife center. I overslept this morning.
The poopy goose is doing a lot better than he was. He's still making a mess
We have a huge swan who makes a wheezing hiss and he squeals like a pig too. I've never heard a swan make that noise before. This guy had a fishing hook removed from his neck. Tiffany says swans are like dogs: when they get comfortable, they'll just follow you to enrichment and back.
The screech owl escaped Tiffany's grasp and flew over to the notes. Then he escaped her grasp again and went behind the rodo cages. Earlier, possibly when he hit the car, if that is indeed what he did, he broke the tip of his beak off so he looks a bit silly.
The barred owl got himself loose when he went back in his cage.
Must've felt good for him, being able to stretch his wings out.
For some reason, there were two robins in the cage. If there were interns around, it might work out, but since it was just me and Tiffany, it made things a bit awkward.
The gulls get something with frozen clams and I don't know what else is in it, but it looks absolutely evil.
There were a lot of dogs, though. Simba, who looks like a miniature version of Waffle, and a beagle, and someone brought her two month old American mastiff with her, and also Waffle and Libelle and Tellie.
Padre is the African Grey with a rhodochrosite-colored tail who would say things to us in an unintelligible NES-vocalization way.
Pancho is the other parrot because his owner just likes Mexican names. Mancho means something in Armenian, I guess. People are starting to know about Armenia because of Kim Il Kardashian and that's sad, especially because there are far better Armenians in pop culture, like Principal Skinner or Aram Khachaturian.


We got a baby spotted turtle who was malnourished and dehydrated near some trash cans and he's just going to chill with us for the rest of winter. Or so says Jack. Jack, according to Tiffany, tends to embellish things and make things more palatable for their audience of facebookers. When I'm wrong, however, it's because I'm only there once a week.

The electoral college picked Trump, with the only faithless electors or wannabe faithless electors defecting from Clinton. We all knew this was going to happen so there's no point on dwelling on it. But I think we might be fucked.


I saved the URL, not the location, so I can't tell you about it. I actually found it in an image search but I can't get to the specific clock's page amongst hundreds of other cat clocks.

It's not quite this, though:

If I were to buy a cat clock, it would be this. For reasons known only to Google and probably not even to them, I can't find a single screen shot of the clock. I don't know. Maybe Google is staffed entirely by duplicates of Mark Zuckerberg. Maybe the clock doesn't show up in newer episodes. Maybe someone invoked the DMCA. I did learn that in the Futurama episode when they end up in Roswell, they travel past a cat clock when they go backwards and they're calling it a reference to The Simpsons, so I'm sure I'm not imagining it.

Burning question: why would you want a phone charger disguised as a tassel? Maybe so nobody tries to steal it, aside from kleptomaniacs and dogs. And kleptomaniac dogs, she added. I had one of those. It's not as fun as it sounds.

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