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sweetly the waves call to me

Posted on May 26, 2015 at 5:28 pm
Mood: henricia
Now Playing: Slint - Breadcrumb Trail
I had a dream where I could teleport to any person or any location at will, and I could send myself back in some amount of time, so I visited Mars for one second, enough time to see it for myself without perishing from the cold or lack of oxygen.

Sometimes it didn't work. I'd think of a person and teleport to their location, but they won't be there.

I woke up early, and the next dream I had wasn't as memorable. I think I was with Gabi at some point.
I woke up late, with a song in my head. No idea what song it was, or even if the song actually exists in real life.

Whatever it was, it was a premonition of good things. All the images disappeared from Shadowdancer Duskstar's site. I was hoping that would be permanent and she'd take it as a sign that perhaps some higher powers don't approve, and that would be the end of the obsessive post cataloguing. Alas, it wasn't meant to be.
It made me equally sad that FIGMENT Boston, Cambridge Jazz Festival, and Summer Arts Weekend all happen at the same time, and I really can't be in three places at once. Ah, the problems of being somewhere so immersed in art and music.
Speaking of art, a woman on the red line told me my portrait of her was beautiful. Her words.
Shadowdancer is accusing me of paying Emma, Emma, Zofia, and Gabriella to be my friends solely because I think Vox might be paying people to harass, stalk, and gather information.
She doesn't care about my opinions on the ecology of Madagascar and its impending collapse, Hungarian Emma, Swedish Emma's birthday, or macaws. She does care enough about Pol Pot's Birthday to take a screenshot of it but doesn't care enough to watch it and find out that it's a black comedy. Or maybe she's trying to use it to make me look bad, which I'd say is fairly classic Shadowdancer.

Emma sent me a message approximately five seconds after I left for the museum. Well, it's probably for the best that she couldn't make it, rather than waiting for me at a spot she decided upon, because I did not get her message until I got back home. I thought I saw Gabriella. Maybe I did, but then I lost her. And then I found Rachel and Lauren instead.

A woman on the green line (I don't think she was Rachel from echoes of the past) drew my reflection. A woman on the red line thought my portrait of her was beautiful. Her words. Another woman got really excited at each stop, because she's from a place where public transit is virtually nonexistent.

Some people put sprinkles in their coffee. I don't think these four people did but their clothes all made me wish I had the ability to paint full color portraits of people on a moving train. It would be very unwieldy to carry around even just a bunch of colored pens or markers.
I don't know why I did this but I drew Paris (I think that's what she said, though Paris is a guy's name. You know it, I know it, and Homer and William Shakespeare knew it) on the back of a page. I don't know how, but it didn't end up upsidedown either. It looks fine, though. I don't know. It makes up for the page in my other sketchbook with just FAIL on it.
My mom had a cat named Ajax, for what it's worth.

There was a woman with light green hair, a woman with bright blue hair, a woman with half blue half pink hair, a woman with pink streaks, a man with hair in a rainbow of orange-green-purple, or maybe I mixed up the colors. I met a woman with platinum-dyed hair, but she was at Park Street Station. I glimpsed a man with green hair from outside a Green Line train and then he got on an Ashmont train.

A woman scat-sang and a man played the trombone, backed up with a machine, at Park Street.

"yeah, they drag these into their houses. No, they had smaller ones."
-some guy, on a Ganesh statue.

There's a kimono made of glass.
There's an art deco cabinet made about 150 years before art deco.
There's a new community arts thingy and it's a spiral of photographs of stuff at the MFA and assemblages and other things and it's cool.
There are charcoal drawings of chandeliers and bananas by a Colombian artist.
There's a video of a conversation recorded at four frames per second.
I wonder if Emma noticed the giant snake skin when she was there a few weeks ago.
One of the signs mentioned fish and then I kept noticing fish in various things. Next time you're at the MFA, be on the lookout for fish.
asakiyume, you asked me about the figurine of a woman spoonfeeding the owl, and I finally remembered to check the information on it. It's called Figure of a Lady with an Owl Disguised as a Baby, it's by Giuseppe Gricci, it's Italian and was made around 1750, it's porcelain with enamel and gilt. I'm not sure if Livejournal sends out notifications when a post is edited. I'll try at some point in the future but right now, I felt it was best to delete and repost.

I overheard a conversation about The Allegory of Man's Choice and the nature of Hell half in English and half in Spanish. The gist of it is that hell isn't a real place but sometimes we do things to each other that make the world seem like hell.

Rachel thought it was a chair. it wasn't, it was a thing to hang your hats and place your umbrellas.
Rachel thinks the Dutch were the only people allowed to trade with Japan.
I thought the Portuguese were there but Rachel said Japan kicked the Portuguese out because they were pushing Christianity hardcore. Nobody tried to take over Japan because it doesn't have many resources and their thing is importing raw materials and making things with that, vs exporting a lot of raw materials, like Madagascar or Iraq.
Rachel was expecting the big wave to be a giant mural or something.

Facebook is giving me notifications every time someone does something in a group. I didn't turn this on, it just sort of happened. I didn't even know groups were still a thing.

Various women had: an octopus tattoo on her arm, a lotus flower with writing I wasn't able to read, an Asian dragon on one shoulder and a quote in French on the other, some kind of colorful watercolor nebula tree thing on the back of her neck, a hawk in Islamic calligraphy on the back of her neck, what looked like fal'Cie brands in various stages of development.

I don't think there was ever a time where China was the largest country, with India close at its heels. Still, if Paris chose rule over Asia, even if Hera meant all of it rather than just Anatolia, he wouldn't be ruling over billions of people, considering the population of the entire world was comparable to Mexico. To put things into perspective, the island Java has more people today than the entire planet did at the time of the Trojan War. Also, Madagascar and New Zealand were both uninhabited.
Burning Question: If you were Paris, who's prize would you take? To refresh your memory, Aphrodite offered the love of the most beautiful mortal, Athene offered fame as a hero, Hera offered rule of Asia.


The Anathēmata: a plague journal

Posted on May 19, 2015 at 5:00 pm
Mood: Acropora
Now Playing: Betwixt - Lucky 13
On Tuesday, I went to bed feeling like I was outside of my body and it was way too small but I still felt the sore throat.
On Thursday, I was definitely starting to cough out all the shit in my throat. Emma had a portrait of a T passenger at a gallery somewhere in probably Cambridge but I wasn't going to visit her and make her sick. Her voice is really important to her.
I thought May 16 was important, but it turns out June 16 is Bloomsday. May 16 is Rachel Goswell's birthday, so that's something, I guess.
Thursday, I felt unpleasantly gassy and was letting off these little burps but what I think I needed was a big Barney-style belch.
It was Emma's birthday on Sunday, so I sent her this picture of lemurs eating a cake. I would have updated, but May's a slow month. May's been slow for as long as I've been journaling. Plus I was sick.

I wanted to paint her something, but, again, I was sick. I'm still coughing occasionally. But at least I'm getting sleep.

Today is Pol Pot's birthday, so please enjoy this video.

Shadowdancer Duskstar found the Persistence of Desire via a Google alert, which is weird because I'm pretty sure Google pretends Livejournal doesn't exist, and I once said "I hope Emma doesn't rely on a Google alert for updates because she'll miss every other post," back when I gave her a link to this.

Shadowdancer says it's really difficult, if not impossible, to pretend to be me.
I guess that makes sense.
What doesn't make sense is that the sockpuppet on Entertainment Weekly's Sad Puppies discussion wasn't convincing enough to fool Leanne. What doesn't make sense is that Drow brings up IP spoofing when I said that I can't delete comments. What doesn't make sense is Drow cataloguing the posts I made with the disqus account, which include such transgressions as "recommending Atlas Lab in a Boston alternative bands recommendation article" and "Kearney from The Simpsons might be capable of parthenogenesis, although his clone should have XX chromosomes," and "so, that tortoise they found on train tracks in Munich is an African spur-thighed tortoise." What doesn't make sense is claiming my dislike of After The Blast is born from malignant narcissism and not the writer's ineptitude.

Except I really shouldn't be talking about things making sense. I can barely follow this insane troll logic. I'd say something about ingesting too much cough syrup but there really aren't enough drugs in the world for this to make sense. So back to the wildlife center.

If Emma wants to meet Emma, I recommended Landmarks Orchestra concerts. I don't know why Preview decided to print each concert on one page each nor why it only printed six of seven concerts, but it works. She wants to know if she should play it cool, as if she doesn't know all these things about her, and I say no.

Emma had apples for the goats.
Penelope bit Emma and she bruised immediately. What's weird is I slipped and banged my arm and a bruise didn't show up until a few days later. Then they started headbutting each other. I said it's because when we got Gallop, Penelope was bigger and now that Gallop is bigger, Penelope lashes out at us humans.

It's the little things about cameras that make taking good pictures with other peoples' cameras so difficult. I kept fucking up zoom.
Because Kaa was resting his head on Emma's hand. Since Kaa is rather head-shy, this means a lot to her.
She tried to take a photo of a photo I took of Kaa soaking.

And another snake (a very small red-tailed boa) used Emma to shed. She kept the skin. Unfortunately, she didn't get a spectacle.

Rob told us this story to make us appreciate veterinary medicine. We cuddle squirrels. The reality of human medicine is morbidly obese pimps on PCP, a dissociative anesthetic, which means a whole lot of fun when dealing with them. And by fun, I mean I don't even know.

Gray squirrels are immune to the bad effects of steroids, or at least, they are according to us.

Arianna, not the Arianna of pursuits (whom I know very little about) or minotaur blues (whom I know nothing about and probably haven't interacted with since this Arianna was in diapers*) is thinking of traveling to Nepal or Kenya or Sri Lanka.

*though I did explain class scheduling when I went to middle school. First it was a rotating schedule and the periods moved earlier as the days went on. Then they reversed it, so the periods moved later. I heard inklings of block schedules. I'm not really sure what that meant For various reasons, I didn't go to school there when they implemented block scheduling. If they did. They've probably moved beyond that and are now picking numbers out of a hat.

That's the problem with helping people. If they need help, they aren't going to get the help they need. If you give stuff to the governments, they're going to distribute it to their supporters only, if you go there to help people directly, the governments tell you which people you're allowed to help.

Read Burma Chronicles. MSF shuts down because Burma wants them to work in an area that isn't populated by any minorities and should be run by the state health care system. They want to help the Karen and Shan and Burma won't let them.
Or read about the Rohingyas. The worst thing about it is that the government's policy towards Rakhines isn't any nicer and the government is deliberately stoking tensions, so they can keep the Rakhines on their side.

I brought up logging in Madagascar because apparently the Fourth Malagasy Republic thinks that logging companies are preferable to ecotourists, and meanwhile, the habitats are getting destroyed.
Emma added "and they're losing their food sources too."

Perhaps ISIS can expand into ecoterrorism. Something something first good thing they've ever done.
I disagree with that sentiment. For all their many, many problems, ISIS isn't fucking with nascent democracies, nor is it overthrowing democratic governments. It's fighting against secular despotates and quasi-republics that are every bit as dogmatic and repressive are they are, and if ISIS wants to overthrow the Syrian Arab Republic, I am ok with that, and the reason Syria has an ISIS problem is because they didn't give in to the democracy activists in the first place. Just need to keep them out of Libya and Tunisia somehow.
Plus I got into Archer because of them.
If there's one thing we learned from Russia and Burma, it's that transitioning to democracy isn't possible.

I also find it unbelievable that Madagascar has a military. Nobody's going to invade Madagascar, aside from Europeans. And unless said European invader is Bulgaria or Estonia, they're fighting a lost cause. I guess they're only around for when they need to make it known that they don't like the results of the election.

Someone brought her blue and yellow macaw, named Luna, along with Sydney, who hates men, and a cockatoo without a name.
Luna screams but not quite as loudly as pigs scream. You want permanent damage to your earballs? Stand near a pig that is being anesthetized.
Sydney said "hey" to me, but when the woman who brought her showed up, all of a sudden, she doesn't want to talk any more.

I found beads and colorful stones in the parking lot near the clothesline. I don't know why they were dumped there but they're mine now.

Emma got the portrait she wanted, in which she's holding Kaa. Zofia, Jacob, Courtney, Jean, Greg, Jack, Yvonne also got portraits. Yvonne is new. She wants to train an army of attack llamas to spit on her enemies. She's traveling to Thailand to work with elephants. There's Zoë, not to be confused with Zofia, which has no diacritics, means Wisdom and not Life, and is not the name of a Sianspheric song. For the record, Sophia is written with an omicron while Zoë is written with an omega. They're the same thing in Modern Greek. There are a few others. It's at this point where I'm not going to remember any of the interns' names, especially when they start on days I'm not around.
There's a place called Sofia in Madagascar and I think they're trying to trick people into thinking they're in Bulgaria.

Zofia said that someone mistook Jacob for a bear. I think I remember hearing about that incident.

Makoto mimed feeding raccoons. I don't know where this is but it's a thing.


I think the guys in Atlas Lab are reading this. Look, a while ago, I had a dream in which I was at an Atlas Lab show with Désirée and Go, and there was a duet of cello and violin, and in reality, Atlas Lab had a string session a few days ago with cello and Nora from Scubaphone on violin. It's probably for Something Good, because that's that's the song that sounds the most like they're trying to be Big Monster Fish Hook. Well, I mean, I've only heard Ven A Mi.
Maybe Alex can exchange his drum kit and phylactery containing Masami Akita's anima for some toy pianos and xylophones.

And I hope that's the last comparison anyone will make between Atlas Lab and Big Monster Fish Hook. I'm sorry. I like what I've heard of Big Monster Fish Hook (and Betwixt and Chelsea on Fire and Vision Thing for that matter). I just don't want someone in 2035 hearing Shadow Song or Something Good and lamenting the fact they can't find anything else.

Atlas Lab is too good for that.


I forgot these three things from last week: Penelope bared her teeth for the camera and Gallop even posed for Emma. Emma prefers green tea while I prefer black tea. I told her my Karl Marx joke. I told her I fall out of love just as easily as I fall in love and how Jen's a hard core Republican now, not in that fanatically religious way, she just has a fear of all things alien and many unenlightened viewpoints.
Alas, we've all felt the pain of someone we love or admire turning into someone we don't.

Burning Question: have you ever seen someone you don't admire turn into someone you do?


the persistence of desire

Posted on May 12, 2015 at 6:57 pm
Mood: Stauridiosarsia
Now Playing: Charmparticles - Gas Gauge
Emma said she might be coming down with a cold last Monday
I felt a bit shitty on Tuesday and dismissed it. Wednesday, I felt fine, aside from that time where I slipped, thwacked my arm, and have a bruise.
I woke up on Thursday feeling like complete shit. So what, I thought, I left the window open. Then I started to feel sick again.
My throat felt like it was on fire after a coughing fit on Friday morning. I think things get better and they don't. Saturday morning, I feel like shit. Halfway through saturday, I become congested as shit instead of sore throated as shit.
Sunday, the hellish cough came back. I told Emma the muralist not to visit me at the Wildlife Center, because she's literally the last person I want to get sick. Alex shouldn't come either, unless he's planning on going into an indefinitely long (but not necessarily permanent) exile on Saint Helena.
I didn't get any sleep on Monday morning because of coughing fits. Only thing I have for cold relief is in pill form, and they're huge and I have to take two of them, and I thought that's why cough syrup is a thing. I bought a bag of cough drops and I'm pretty sure I'm going to consume all of them by Thursday.
Meanwhile, Emma said she just got over a cold. I'm pretty sure I got it from her, and she's sorry for that. I just figured I should be immune to it seeing how I had a cold a few weeks ago. Which is what I said back in early April, because I had a cold in early October.
I coughed up a lot of mucus this morning. Hopefully this means I'm starting to expel all that shit in there and it's almost over.

This didn't stop Zofia from thinking that the Emma who was there was the muralist. I told her how things went with Emma and had her read asakiyume's comment. Part of me wants to find some way to distinguish them here, part of me wants you to feel just how confusing this is for everyone around us.

Of course, if Emma showed up after being disinvited, I'd be calling her Miss Opposite World.

We released the woodcock, which is pretty remarkable, because they're easily stressed out and eat only earthworms. We released several batches of squirrels, which is a bit less remarkable, because all you have to do is feed them the right food, rattle their cages so they grow up without a dependency on humans and don't name their true name.

We have a baby owl now. He'll probably be rehomed soon.

Emma had a squiggle drawn in charcoal on her arm.

One of the parrots said something to me. I'm not sure what he said, because it sounded like a Russian tape being played backwards. Or maybe Greek. It all sounds the same when it's backwards.

A guinea pig named Katara got her own Jedi temple.

Once again, I could find no gloves that fit my giant Lana Kane hands.

Emma's totally right that relationships are a lot harder when people don't come to you because yay gender roles and social conditioning. She's right about a lot of things, like how people can be good friends aren't always relationship material or how older people might be better in relationships because of experience.

Maybe Waffle doesn't like Hungarians. Emma says he's the only dog that doesn't like her and he shies away from me too. Although that might only be because I've called him out on his shoplifting and won't allow him to have egg nog or any kind of nog.

Courtney has a pet rainbow boa, and those are really cool looking.

Zofia has secret names for all the raccoons. I'm hoping there's a Little King Trash Mouth and El Diablo in there. But I hope Little King Trash Mouth and El Diablo were named in secret by the people who brought them in.

Humans don't have to worry about this. It's one of the perks of being human. That and thumbs.

Someone had a cool-looking tortoise. I'm not sure what species it was.

There's a CSI-style crime lab for poaching in Kenya.
They can tell what population of elephants a tusk comes from and they can tell what species of animal the meat is, so poachers can't just say they're selling beef or wildebeest, not gorilla. You'd think they'd have learned something about why you shouldn't eat apes from ebola and HIV, but no.
Hopefully, CSI Lemur shows up. I doubt it, though.

It got cold all of a sudden.

I feel like Monday was more active than I made it seem. I guess that's what being sick will do to you.

Shadowdancer Duskstar discovered Amid Timebound Waves and in the spring twilight, and somehow ignored what Désirée had to say about Emma and unconventional beauty and how Vox's followers derided her appearance because she had short pink hair, freckles and a nose ring.

The rest of it is just a rehash and some delusions. 1. I'm pretty sure Portuguese people are European. 2. Yes, Drow's an immigrant to Australia but spoiler alert, she's incredibly privileged by most standards and got a free ticket there because her bag with which one douches boyfriend thought all the local women were tainted by feminism, and meanwhile, people who are actually fleeing persecution or oppression or war are sent to detention centers on Christmas Island or Nauru. 3. I can't delete comments on Disqus, let alone comments made without an account, let alone comments made without an account tied to an IP address that doesn't belong to me. 4. There's a screenshot of the same person sockpuppeting with someone else's handle and forgetting to change it back to mine when saying misogynistic things that Drow was no doubt planning to catalog to make me look bad. Part of me wants to leech the images, part of me is afraid they'll turn into images of other things if I do that.

I would have removed Rachel's e-mail anyway. But I'm very glad I did remove it, so all two hundred or so of Knighton's followers don't go after her too. I don't think there's any way he can unedit a file I posted on imgur. He'd need access to my sketchbook. And he ain't getting that.

burning question: have you ever mixed up two people's names and combined them into one?


a shimmering sky

Posted on May 06, 2015 at 5:56 pm
Mood: Neoturris
Now Playing: Aoineko - Variations on a Theme from Megaman
I see how it is with France's increased surveillance powers. Enter Marine le Pen, offering an alternative to a 21st century surveillance state: deporting Muslims to Madagascar, 20th century-style. Or deporting them to the French equivalent of Madagascar, which I suppose is just Madagascar. You know what I mean. Something like our Timbuktu and Kathmandu or Germany's Madagascar. A byword for a far away and possibly mythical locale.

I wonder what the Madagascar equivalent of Madagascar is. I get the feeling that the Timbuktu equivalent of Timbuktu is Kathmandu and the Kathmandu equivalent of Kathmandu is Timbuktu.

In all seriousness, though, Parti socialiste needs to exit Socialist International, pursued by a bear.

Meanwhile, back in Massachusetts.
Someone wondered if papayas were supposed to be orange and I thought the same thing once, when I was at a Thai restaurant in New York and wondering if they messed up my order.

Emma does not have any diacritics in Hungarian or any other language. Unfortunately. It would be nice if it did.

Emma thinks that breaking off the pistachio shells makes her think she's earned them. She learned that overalls are a bad idea when handling snakes and had a rainbow drawn on her arm in Sharpie. Not scented markers like I thought. Maybe the sharpie is what I smelled.

Christina (different Christina, obviously) has tattoos of an owl, peacock feathers, stars, and a human face. She brought a rat with tears covering its eyes (tears are photoactive and will opaque under light) and an emaciated gecko with messed up hemipenes.

We're going to stuff a woodcock with nightcrawlers, phrasing.

The bat weighs 14 grams, and that's good for a bat, so he's going somewhere else. A wood duck got released. I saw a picture of her. Like all female ducks, she's very unimpressive looking. The males look really cool, though. Females are like "nope, I'm not here, I'm just part of the scenery, go away" and males are like "hey, look at me, I'm a bird, look, come get me, you know you want to eat me, have at you!"

Flickers have tongues that are really long and coil up.

Yes, blackberries and mango salsa are amazing. What I'm saying is that if I had money to lend, I wouldn't be asking people for a bite of their lunch.

I asked Emma if she was still in Cyprus and I never got a response and it kinda occurred to me that Emma might have only been interested in painting a mural for the wildlife center when there was a possibility we could be together. That's silly, now that I think about it.
Emma says she doesn't judge people until she's met them. That's awesome, but I guess what I'm trying to say is I felt really bad because Emma said that maybe Emma wasn't being a good friend because she didn't show up when I invited her to the MFA in October and in Janury, and I guess I made that sound worse than it actually is. I'm sure she'll like Emma.

Sorry, I was laughing at Skinky crawling out of his soaking bin.

It was 84 degrees out and Emma, different Jack, and I were putting mulch in a wheelbarrow, which is easy with a shovel and doable with a pitchfork, and then spreading on the trail and learning about the art of tree identification before their leaves appear from Greg.

The inside of a cormorant's mouth is a very vivid cerulean. I don't know why, but it's very cool looking.
And, yes, I noticed the stains on the ceiling after Jean pointed it out.

It just felt like a slow day for some reason. And it was not only the first day above 70 since the day Gabriella and I saw the Consul, it was a full 40 degrees Fahrenheit warmer than it was three days earlier.

And meanwhile, back in Cyprus. Actually, I'm not really sure where she is right now.
Burning Question: Well the good news is we don't have to worry about these alligators. That's not actually good news, is it?


spring strains

Posted on May 03, 2015 at 9:47 pm
Mood: diadema
Now Playing: The Art of Noise - La Flute De Pan
I know I already spent time talking about the plot to Don Giovanni. Anyway, Zerlina and Masetto were wearing modern clothes while everyone else was in Mozart-era clothes. He kills Il Commendatore in a duel at a masquerade, so I guess it makes sense that they're dressed like that while Don Giovanni is out Archerizing a wedding, and by that, I mean "trying to sleep with Zerlina." There may have been a portrait of Jackie Kennedy above one of the doorways.
The problem with Don Giovanni is that after the finale, everything else seems underwhelming.

I spent the time before the opera in Boston Common listening to some people cover early 60s songs (I don't know who they are and I could find nothing even indicating that there were musicians, but I do know they aren't Jenny D and the Delinquents), like My Girl (1964, The Temptations) and Chapel of Love (1964, The Dixie Cups) and playing with dogs, including a Boston terrier, two pugs named Buddha and Bella, a puggle named Vinnie and his companion, and a dog that I'm pretty sure is not actually a chihuahua. I've seen chihuahuas and I'm pretty sure they don't come in "largest type of small dog possible" size.

I did find a video of Vinnie the puggle on Twitter.

I met a woman with an eye necklace, some sort of accent that I'm going to assume is Greek or possibly Cypriot even though when I assume, I make you ass and BARRY DOESN'T LIKE, and a chow-chow named Zeus. He was the size of a pug and very very fluffy and he'll be about 20 kg when he's full grown. The woman with the eye necklace says "surprisingly, he doesn't shed that much."

The terrier was bouncing around Zeus and Zeus thought we were AT-ATs or something. Zeus had a wet head and I hope it wasn't pee.

Later, I saw a golden retriever wearing a t-shirt.

I'm not sure where the woman with the heart pendant is from but she had an accent. Hipster Indiana Jones got on the Ashmont train. He didn't have the hat or a whip, but he had a thick beard and a leather jacket and khaki pants and I'm pretty sure he hates Nazis and maybe he's even afraid of snakes. There was a guy with these really cool tattoos depicting a white wolf and other things. There was a guy with melon-colored hair in a really cool style.

The moon was pink and looked like it was made of clouds. When it solidified, clouds made it look like it was cleft in two. It turned the color of apricots as it rose.

Someone who I think is from Turkey asked me to draw his friend. I drew a woman reading a Vietnamese newspaper. Speaking of Turks and Greeks, I wonder how things are going in Cyprus.
Hmmmm. Not great.
burning question: So hey, so yeah, did you say light brown with darker whateveral bands?


o dreams, o destinations

Posted on April 28, 2015 at 5:59 pm
Mood: aequorea
Now Playing: Chelsea on Fire - The Wool
I had a dream where Christine's band was playing and I thought they sounded familiar like maybe they played with Atlas Lab or something.
Also, there was a setup with these frictionless inner tubes and a frictionless surface set up and a lot of things to bump into and bounce off of. There were stairs but they were blocked by this filmy stuff that I felt really nervous about standing on.
A glass elevator would take us outside, to pine forests.

In the real world, it's cold but not unusually so. The worst part about it is that it has been constantly cold. Even when it's warmer than average, it's still cold. We've only had one nice day.

When I woke up, I realized "that was dæphne's Winona Ryder."

A few nights later, I had another vivid romantic dream. Similar setup to the one I dreamt in door slams in fourth world, or more aptly, the morning after I posted in the spring twilight: I was at an Atlas Lab concert in which I pre-emptively tell cut-rate Alex [surname removed] to shut his dickhole. This time, I was there with Gabriella and some asshole picked a fight with me so the three of us got kicked out, but they were at least apologetic about it, so we went to get something to eat and then we go home and Gabi tells me "will you look at that" and it's snowing. Somehow, she's way ahead of me and it's still over a mile to Lechmere Station.

When I woke up, it was still very dark. It was cold as balls. I'd have checked the time and maybe wrote down my dream, but I really couldn't be fucked to do that.
You know, I think I'd take that reality, even if there was late April snow in it.


Meanwhile, at the wildlife center:
Everything is back to normal.
I didn't bring this up in Echoes of the Past probably because I didn't think of it. Look, Emma introduced me to Alex, Sam, Emily, Emma, Hilary, Sahin, Alba, Becky, Jason, et al, and Gabriella introduced me to Anne, and I'd say something about how I introduced Emma and Gabriella and want to introduce Emma to Emma, Jacob, Jean, Nina, Courtney, Jack, Brody, Désirée, et al, but I'm hardly normal, and yet Miyomi told me "get your own friends" if I try to befriend any of hers.
Emma said she wants to meet her so she can say "hey, cool, we have the same name."

I told Emma about Arielle and checked to see if she had a nose ring. Spoilers: she doesn't, but she had some serpentine designs in purple and green scrawled on her forearm with Sharpie so she could get used to having something there. She has a shirt with a snake on it. Definitely a cobra, possibly a Caspian cobra. I didn't notice any darker ventral bands. She wore Jasmine as a belt.
If the internet worked at the wildlife center, I'd show her gurpgork, and by that, I mean when Cyril tried to draw a snake and it looked like bread with googly eyes. Thankfully, she knew exactly what I'm talking about.

Emma says the Fast Supper is awesome.

She sculpted a snake book out of clay. Two entwined snakes over a codex with snakes inscribed into it. Also, she made a Yoda face, and you can see brains and thought waves in the back. It was the first attempt at a human face she ever made.

She wanted to look through the stuff on my iPod.
She loves the song Minerva by Deftones. I really like their quieter and more introspective songs like Digital Bath and Teenager and Anniversary of an Uninteresting Event. She tried to listen to that one on my iPod speaker and I tried to have her listen to Popol Vuh and As The Sparrow.
I haven't listened to rock radio in over a decade and I don't think their playlists have changed since 2002. Wait, there's some glam rock in there.

Emma says the standard spelling is L-e-a-h. It's weird how I didn't think of anything but Lia.

Désirée noticed that I'm getting more confident with my sketches and developing a distinct style for quickie portraits. She saw the stuff in the first book back when I drew her portrait. The first few pages are really rough and really different.

Jacob knows what I'm talking about with regards to Thankskilling and Leprechaun in Space.
Emma prefers good good movies, not so bad they're good movies. The Shining, The Haunting, The Innocents, An American Werewolf in London, stuff like that.
I prefer nightmarish and atmospheric (Barker) but I don't mind a good body horror here and there. Finch, for instance.

I don't think I'll see Melissa or Hillary for a while. At least they got to enjoy Atlas Lab before they left. Boribory ny tany.


I'm kinda hoping someone sees this. I'm pretty sure Emma reads this and she's really active with the local music scene. Sovay or Urbpan, perhaps. Or maybe someone involved with the band will see this and be like "hey, someone's still interested in our stuff" and maybe contemplate getting a bandcamp or soundcloud. That would be nice.

Look, I found Rockets Burst From The Streetlamps eventually and Curious Ritual got a Bandcamp and Opium Den remastered an album and posted it on their soundcloud, so yeah.

Chelsea on Fire
someone said 7:11 was like Veruca Salt trying to be Rage Against The Machine.

Big Monster Fish Hook
Lisa's voice is more boyish than Emma's, and also clearer, but their voices both have this fey, almost childish quality to them.

Ashera's Essence of Life sounds like it's worth checking out. I like the idea of "jangly pop gem" and "languid mid-tempo ballad." If only.


And meanwhile, back in Greek Cyprus:
The thing about Cyprus is there aren't many internet cafes there and when there are internet cafes, they're too out of date to make posts. I know this is Emma's fault really and Emma needs to learn that when you sow the wind, you shall reap the Barry.
I don't know if Cyprus is a first world country that thinks it doesn't need internet cafes because everyone already has the internet in their home, which really doesn't make sense considering Cyprus is a hotspot for tourism, or if it's still a third world country despite being part of the European Union, which does make sense if they're only there as a middle finger to Turkey, but that doesn't make sense because half of the European Union has their own demons to deal with.
Well, it was third world in that it was neither part of NATO nor part of the Warsaw Pact, but you know what I mean. Which, now that I think about it, means that Greece is both third world and first world.

The right things to do would be to 'a' scan the notebooks and two, allow people to comment without using facebook, perhaps via something like Livejournal.

"Gentrificate" isn't a real word, by the way, at least not in English. I dunno, she threw away my phrasebook.


I think I already asked you people what I asked Emma about having an extinct animal as a pet.
Burning Question: how do you maintain a point of view that regards writing well as a flaw?


as above, so below

Posted on April 22, 2015 at 8:29 pm
Mood: Ocypode
Now Playing: Popol Vuh - Einsjäger & Siebenjäger
Sorry about the string of melancholy entries.

A thunderstorm woke me up at around 5:05 AM on Tuesday. And it was a really bad one too, the kind with constant lightning that hurts my eyes because it's so early in the morning. It's weird because on Monday, it only reached 45° F.

I saw a guy with a tattoo of a bumblebee on his wrist.
One guy, an older fellow with a bandana and a white beard was getting off before I had a chance to draw him but he told me about his collection of prints by an artist whose name I can't remember, kachinas, and masks from all over the world. I tried to show him the two masks I made but didn't have time.

What I didn't notice until now is that some of the stuff on the Russian World War I posters is written in obsolete letters. There's no і or Ѣ. Greece, you can learn something from this. English and really most languages that use the Latin alphabet, do the opposite of what I suggest for Greek.

I got to see the coins and box and bits of plaster that surrounded the box from the time capsule this time. The wait wasn't that bad even though I needed to pee by the time I saw the stuff, and the people in front of me ran the Marathon on Monday.
I remembered that I needed to get details about the sculpture of a woman spoon-feeding an owl but didn't get those details.

The Rothschilds (from German for red shield if you're like me and need help spelling it) bequeathed some of the art requisitioned (read: stolen) by the Nazis to the MFA, along with some of the jewelry they had with them when they were away for the Anschluss.

There are daguerrotypes. I am reminded of She Who Tells A Story and its inverted colors and a woman telling me that's what it's like when the bombs hit. There's a photograph of a parade of godzillas, brachiosaurs, lizards, crocodiles, and stegosaurs all clomping around, a woman in a kimono with her breasts and pubic hair exposed and a Caspian cobra is about to bite her taint, clouds, people carrying umbrellas to shield them from the black rain. There's a photograph of the moon, and a photograph of an ostrich wandering deserted city streets.

Michelangelo idealized beauty and Leonardo saw beauty in the everyday.

A woman with a leaf tattoo on her foot told me my drawings were good. She's not an artist but she's not emphatically not an artist. I wanted to draw her in more detail but she got off, phrasing, at South Station, and I had to move on to a guy in a skull and crossbones beanie and a woman with hair like a more punk more communist Marge Simpson, who had a tattoo of a birdcage on her arm. There was possibly a bird escaping from the cage, but I wasn't able to see it because of the way her hand was positioned.

No updates from Cyprus, really. They have a dinky Facebook page where they try to pretend the official Color Exchange blog on Blogspot is a thing, and I guess they're in the Greek part now and have started the mural.

On Wednesday, I woke up and thought "is it Thursday... I feel like yesterday was Sunday."
I had to show off my t-shirt to someone who likes cats. But it's still windy and not actually warm. Maybe this can be my new goal: Finish reading the Well of Echoes by the time we have a very warm day. I'm about a third of a way through Chimaera, so maybe I'll finish it before Emma gets back from Cyprus.

Rachel wanted me to send this to her. So I did. It has 2 views and I haven't shared it with the world yet so I don't know if both of the views are me and it ended up in the land of wind and ghosts thanks to an overzealous spam filter, or one of the views is me and one of the views is her.

I also have a thought about the hugos and it is as follows: I don't think Sad Puppies or Rabid Puppies 2016 is going to include Radiance or anything else by so-called social justice warriors on their slate in hopes they'll withdraw, because that would require them to be self-aware of their own toxicity, and even if they are somehow aware of their own toxicity, they'd have to tacitly admit to it.

Burning Question: Okay, so the hugos are, like, broken because things like The Water That Falls On You Like Nowhere and If You Were A Dinosaur, My Love, and The Ink Readers Of Doi Saket are nominated and they're are products of a decadent culture that can not produce talented individuals of enough insight and wisdom to write something great, so then you try to get Opera Vita Aeterna of all things on the ballot?
Whatever you say, John.


door slams in fourth world

Posted on April 21, 2015 at 12:02 am
Mood: Calappa
Now Playing: Richard Strauss - Salome
I swear though, I don't need you to to tell me these things, cut-rate Alex [surname removed]. And then shut up because I'm going… home… goddammit. Or what is it?

I thought about putting that line and then just talking about the real world and the wildlife center and Cyprus but I suppose it needs context. See, I had this dream last week. It was an exceptionally vivid one, in which I was at an Atlas Lab concert and Désirée and Go were there and one of these bands that played was chamber music with a guitar, but Atlas Lab didn't show up and it was just John and Sam and Alex and Alex was wearing a gas mask as part of his stage getup, yeah, okay, cut-rate Dr. Krieger, and Alex was telling me Emma feels awkward too so don't say anything that would make the situation worse, like I didn't already know that and I said "right? I mean, shut up" and then I woke up. Fuck.

In between I was watching some weird animated version of Her with one of my sister's friends.


And now back to the real world. Sorry, I have like a million different things I need to say to a million different people. Emma's in Cyprus and I want to talk to her about music and art and songwriting and Gabriella and apologizing to Alex, I don't know where Emma is but I wanted to explain the situation in Cyprus regarding its annexation by Greece and subsequent invasion by Turkey in more detail to her. I don't know where Gabriella is but I'm going to word vomit in front of her and I'm honestly dreading her reaction but I guess the last time I word vomited in front of someone, and I guess we're even closer friends than we were before, so maybe everything will be ok, but I kinda want to have Emma with me when I do it for support or advice or maybe but hopefully not sympathy hugs. She likes hugging her friends, though, so maybe a congratulatory hug would be nice.
See, I told you things would get real confusing real fast.

I thought Arielle was Emma, as if Emma could grow her hair in such short an amount of time, also she lost the glasses and I think she got a nose ring. Maybe Emma has a nose ring. I know Emma does. God damn it. Or what was it…

Arielle is emphatically not an artist.
I seriously can not write that name without writing "a-i-r-i-e-l."

Arielle is actually a really nice name. It's not Ariel, which is a male (sexless, actually, but Prospero uses the male pronoun) air spirit from the Tempest and moon of Uranus (maybe she'll meet Miranda one of these days, and if you're wondering about Umbriel, the moons were supposed to be named for faeries but someone fucked up and named a moon Miranda and now they're all given Shakespearian names. Personally, I'm fine with that. And it's kinda hard to imagine a cold, desolate, and unremarkable moon named Tinker Bell. I told her about Emma's trip to Cyprus even though Cyprus is the setting of Othello and not The Tempest) with a really extreme seasonal cycle that probably consists of "fucking cold" and "really fucking cold", and Airiel, which is a band I listened to obsessively after both my reunion with Emma and the time I poured my heart out to Emma.

I told her that Cyprus is probably at the bottom of my list of places I want to visit, not because it's dangerous like Yemen or South Sudan or the Democratic Republic of the Congo or repressive like Turkmenistan or North Korea or Iran or both like Syria, but because it's under my radar.

I told her to show up on Mondays if she could. I think this Monday is just anomalous. If not, I'm back to being the only volunteer and I am not ok with that.

Ariel is paired up with Umbriel. Ariel is light and Umbriel is dark. Someone on Tvtropes called Ariel and Umbriel boring iceballs in the middle of blackness, dead as a doornail, which is pretty apt. There's a description of a moon in The Frozen Heart that is "nothing lives or has ever lived on the surface of this dead moon," and that fits Ariel.

Also, it's like 45 degrees out and I had to bring out my winter coat. On frigging Marathon Monday it's frigging colder than it was on frigging Christmas. I'm going to be the one who skips the dark months of April and May in some country you've never heard of. Me, not you. You'll be Alex Crabs, the stupidest frozen person in the world.

Saturday I saw a guy with some really cool floral tattoos, including a passion flower and a lily.

Check this band out. I think I know one of the members but I'm not sure. Maybe I know her via friend circle osmosis, like when I knew who Christina was before I actually met her. Maybe friendship is a sphere whose center is everywhere and the surface is nowhere and it wouldn't be complete with the inexorable barrier of space.
She says when listening to music "sometimes you don’t want to hear 'Things will get better' 'It will all work out'. Sometimes you just want to be a stupid sad sack." and that's why I listened to a shitload of Airiel.

I ended up showing a lot of people the reptiles. We got some red-footed tortoises which don't have names and may not be here for very long.

i got to talk to Désireé but only briefly.


If you're wondering how things are going in Northern Cyprus, just forget the official Color Exchange blog exists. No no no, you're going to deal with Emma's website. Don't use the link I gave you in in the spring twilight. Try going to If you're me, you'll get a blank page. Reload it and then click on "blog," and that should get you there. If you still get a blank page after reloading the main page, add blog manually so you get I know, it's annoying. It's against my policy to comment using facebook, especially when the comment box is covering up some text about sprinting on the very tip of Cyprus. And look, I tried the latest version of Safari. I can't be fucked to try any other browsers, and I forgot to ask Jack to try it on whatever browser he was using, ok.

You can tell Emma doesn't use Sporcle because she wrote k-y-g-y-r-z-s-y-t-a-n.

She said it was in Turkish but it looks like English to me. In order of decreasing likelihood, she reposted it in English, the page has automatic translation, or I've somehow gained the ability to understand Turkish.
This is not Turkish: şğğüğüğşöööçöçç ŞşŞşğğĞüüÜçŞÇÖ

Rachel Corrie would be impressed.

Burning question: who is Emma, Lewis and/or Clark?


in the spring twilight

Posted on April 13, 2015 at 8:42 pm
Mood: cyclaspis
Now Playing: Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - 1812 Overture
Yayy, first perfect day of 2015. We might not see another day like this for a long time.

So, primary feathers allow birds to achieve vertical lift, while secondary feathers allow them to glide horizontally.

We actually reunited some raccoon babies with their mommy, and we just need to find a place for them. You can't just plop them down anywhere, because there's disease spread and raccoon territoriality to deal with.

Oil spills, it seems, mess with birds' reproductive hormones, and renders them effectively sterile.

I told Jacob about how I sarcastically asked where Portugal was located because someone thought it was in the South Pacific. I feel like indicating sarcasm defeats sarcasm's purpose. If I were to say that the Sad Puppies 4 nominees will all be well-plotted pieces of non-claptrap that never make me want to retch, I shouldn't have to say I'm being sarcastic. In all seriousness, I think that Sad Puppies 4 will drop any pretense of populism and nominate an entire slate of garbage from the Mad Genius Club clique.

Someone was talking about John and John. Or maybe they were Joe and Joe. Not a good name for twins, unless they seek a career in stage magic.

We have a new volunteer and her name is Emma, of all things. There are worse things to name your kids than Emma. You could be Rory or Cedar or something. I mean, yeah, Emma is common as fuck, but it's a nice name. It's definitely experienced a resurgence.

Emma said she's pretty much the same as previous Wildlife Center Emma because they're both partially Hungarian and Polish (this Emma is Russian as well), although I'm going to consider this Emma to be an intermediate state between Artist Emma and Intern Emma. She likes animals and she's an idealist and she wears glasses but they're not Cyril Figgis glasses and she likes to sculpt and does a bit of drawing.
Ugh, this is going to get really confusing* really fast. Just wait until Emma gets back from Cyprus and hopefully doesn't flake on the mural. Thankfully, the Emma who interned during the winter is in South Africa and will be going back to Oregon, because I think if all three of them were in the same location, it would cause a dimensional collapse and I am not ok with that.
This Emma gets east and west mixed up.

*Nina thought this Emma was my singer/artist friend Emma.

Emma's been to Costa Rica, which is really awesome. We're talking about how she wants to travel again and I want to travel somewhere and how I'm wistful because it's too late to see Sana'a now. Also, if you look up Sanaa without an apostrophe on Google Image Search you get some glass buildings that obviously aren't in Yemen, and something about Disney World resorts with African cuisine because maybe Walt Disney sold his sense of where everything is relative to each other.
I said that even though I've never traveled, I've had the fortune to meet people from all over the world, Hungary, Italy, Sweden, Poland, Russia, The Philippines, Ukraine, Vietnam, Germany, Lithuania, Cornwall, Ireland, Argentina, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Laos, Cape Verde.

I suggested that Sam sold any knowledge of where he came from to become a guitar god. I also wondered what Alex sold to become a one-man gamelan ensemble. He probably can't identify himself in mirrors. If you ask me, Alex should give up his name and perhaps even his entire identity. I was referencing Iron Council, in which this would be easier to phrase in a genderless language like Hungarian or spoken Chinese, but a character named Qurabin forgets their sex in exchange for other forms of knowledge.

But seriously, my rancor towards Alex goes as far as "if he were to have a Star Wars marathon, he should go all the way and include the Holiday Special and the two Ewok movies" and no further. I'm not sure what Alex thinks of Star Wars, although I do know that Emma did something called Tangled Up In C3PO and I'm sucking at typing even though it's only 8:10 PM and I am not OK with that.

While setting up a laundry line outside, I said I'm never going to win any contests for knot-tying. Emma had to go on a quest for scissors. She said "if I had" and she said "pocket knife" and I said "some kind of sixth sense for scissor detection. Like a video game, where objects you can use appear distinctly from everything else." Unless you're talking about the locket in King's Quest V. I hope it hasn't fallen over yet.
There was snow there. It's weird to touch snow when it's 70° F.

She mentioned a spider in the bathroom that didn't have any markings but it had weird fangs or something. Once I saw a spider with bright green fangs.

I totally agree with Emma in that western Europe shouldn't have been in Africa in the first place but my gripe is that they did everything in their power to make things worse upon their leaving. Nigeria's current problems really come down to "Hausa pastoralists are being forced to move southwards into Igbo territory by the encroaching Sahara."
She's a total pacifist and the only way anyone would get her to go to war was if they dragged her there themselves.
I sometimes agree with Apollinaire that open war between the Saudis and Iranians would be a cleansing, sending all the fundamentalist and authoritarian factions through the meat grinder, leaving the middle east for the democracy activists.
but unfortunately in real life, world war I just led to resentment and world war II and the holocaust, and in real life, the democracy activists are the first to die.

I think that a lot of places would have their economies collapse if the perpetual wars were to end. They need the wars to sustain themselves. Others need to provide arms to sustain themselves.

I say the Houthis should be content with their ass end of nowhere corner of Yemen, but no, they apparently need Aden too, and spoiler alert, Aden doesn't want them and neither does Taiz.

We had to splint a woodcock's wing, because his coracoid bone and his furcula, which Courtney says is a fun word to say.

She says that Słończewski sounds familiar.
I know Słońce means sun in Polish and I know this because of King Roger. I was going to tell her about that in more detail but I really had to leave.

I would say something about the Hugo Awards fiasco but I haven't read any of the nominees and that's mostly because I'm the patron saint of being late to the party. I can't say god because I know there are people out there who haven't seen Star Wars or played Sonic the Hedgehog. Also, I'm already a drawing people on the T god and I'm pretty sure I sold my ability to get noticed online to achieve that.
I'm glad that it's bringing to light just how shitty a person Vox Day is. I'm not at all glad Brad Torgersen continues to turn a blind eye to Vox Day's actions.
I want to read Station Eleven now. I want to read the Cloud Roads because Martha Wells comes off as not very fond of the Sad Puppies. In real life, I have a backlog. I tell myself I'll finish the Well of Echoes before Valentine's Day, and then I'll tell myself I'll finish it before the Vernal Equinox and now I'm telling myself I'll finish it when Emma gets back to Boston and in May I'll be telling myself I'll finish it when Emma and I finish the mural.
I'm pretty sure both T.L. Knighton and Mekadave made it their missions in life to destroy me and I'm not sure what Mekadave means by "WILL be sorry" and I'm not really in the mood to know. Honestly, I'm surprised some sockpuppet hasn't said anything completely and utterly insensitive yet so Knighton and Mekadave will have the excuse they need.

I think the reason I thought Steadfast Mind was weak by Atlas Lab's lofty standards is because I had the weight of a star in my heart when they played it. You know how much a star weighs? On the order of 10^30 kg. If you're using the short scale, that's a nonillion. If you're using the long scale, it's a quintillion.

Amy quoted this: "Note to self: every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did."

Hey, check this out. "7 billion people experienced this day in a different way."

If you want to stare at a blank page, you might like this.

Oh, here's some music. Emma (Swedish, not Hungarian) likes it and it has ukuleles so it's awesome.

If you ever wanted to hear a 28 minute Radiohead song.

Reminds me of this composition made from samples of Mahler symphonies Fennesz did.

I'm not tired or lovesick or anything and I'm still doing things like attaching the html to the words and not the link.

Burning Question: what would you say if I told you that someone was pretending to be me and saying misogynist things so Shadowdancer Duskstar could quote them and make me look bad? Because I'd say that's fairly classic Shadowdancer.


hard to be a god

Posted on April 06, 2015 at 9:09 pm
Mood: Pseudocolochirus
Now Playing: Spamtron - Red Waterfalls (Shadow Man)
"Normally we're chaotic but it's a controlled chaos." Not today.

So I may be stuffed up but the place still reeked of the sea and death. I'm blaming the loon for that. We also have some geese and swans, and some small-ish snapping turtles.

I called superfoxygirl (a puppy) "Princess Littlepiddles," because of Bob's Burgers. Also, a chinchilla got his face x-rayed because he's getting old and one of his teeth fell out and we had to make sure there weren't any fragments of tooth that could get infected. And an iguana got x-rayed and it turned out he once had metabolic bone disease.

Brody said "good morning."
Kaz said "it's afternoon."
I said "It's morning somewhere in the world."
You may have to switch the names around to get an accurate depiction of that conversation.

I still don't have Zofia's response but I did have Brody and Désirée listen to the latest by Atlas Lab and told them what was going on. Brody called my response very mature and I showed him the video of Coach McGuirk flirting with a waitress.

I was reading what Amy (I don't know her personally but I painted her) said on her tumblr and I realized Emma and I haven't talked since the night of her concert and I don't ever want her to get the impression that I only wanted to be friends with her when I thought we were going to be together and I'm only talking to her because I want to fuck her. My love for Emma was born from my friendship with her, not the other way around.
I'll tell her I'll try to come, phrasing, to one of her concerts after she gets back from Cyprus.
I can just see the misinterpretations and quotes out of their proper context that are going to happen if Shadowdancer the Stalking Douchebag Duskstar ever finds this. I'm kinda torn between "oh fuck, she'll have a field day with the Emma thing" and "well, she's been calling me gay or something because I critiqued her vomitous color schemes and fixation on loins and for some weird reason, she thought I was talking about a black-and-white drawing of a guy with a giant codpiece and a revelation that Emma is a Swedish/Scottish/Irish woman will cause her quintessential wad of contradictory nonsense to contract so hard it would introduce at least three new spatial dimensions and even a temporal dimension."
I brought up selfishness vs self-centeredness vs self-absorbedness and Brody agrees with me that there's a distinction between the three, and I said that Emma definitely comes off as oblivious to anything that isn't about her and yet she does genuinely care about others and she does want to make the world a better place with her art and music.
Brody says that artists are often like that.
We're not selfish, Miyomi's just overly competitive.

I said that it's nice that all the shitty people are paired up. Maybe that's the way the world should be. They could all be paired up randomly and removed from the dating pool.

Here's some music.
Piece of Sky, by Emma.

Atlas Lab - Steadfast Mind

Atlas Lab - Wake Up Slow
It's a lot more folksy than the version they played live.

Alex could be a one-man gamelan ensemble.

Avia Gardner - Urban Gravity

I'm pretty sure I showed you Shadow Song already.

I was taken by surprise when it turns out Courtney (from high school) hasn't forgotten me even after twelve years. Or how Layla, Jill, and Jess (not sure where Tori disappeared to, the dark world or an echo of the past or she played the song of double time) all recognized me or how even people I've barely talked to like Samantha and Cindy and Rheannon (that was on the night Emma had the stuff at the gallery) recognized me. Or how Emma remembered me from a five minute conversation about art over a year later. And then I realized "hey, I probably wouldn't recognize Reshna or Mandy or Ally. I'm honestly worried I wouldn't recognize Adrienne if I ran into her. I'd recognize Claudia if she wasn't wearing long sleeves and I'd probably recognize Sierra."
Burning question: I often feel this way about people who's lives I've touched and people who's lives have touched mine. To quote Futurama, "I'll never forget you, but you've forgotten me a long, long time ago." Do you ever feel that way?


melting upwards

Posted on April 05, 2015 at 9:15 pm
Mood: burnupena
Now Playing: Broca's Area - Space
I asked Rachel if by taking Sophie that way, we'd be venturing into a zone of danger.

Rachel says the moment Harry and Audrey are in college will be the moment she feels old.

I called Meredith "Vanessa" and I'm pretty sure I called her Vanessa because Lauren, Emily, and I were watching Adventures In Chinchilla Sitting because the three of us like to be able to hear ourselves think and because previous generation family politics are as difficult to follow as Middle Eastern alliances, although I think if I mistake her for anything, it would be Jill, for multiple reasons, none of which have anything to do with Bob's Burgers. and Anson all sorts of different things, including Alton, Anton, Alan, and Alex.
but Rachel called Anson by my name and I'm like "Whoa, call Kenny Loggins."

Meredith really likes the way the drawing I made right after Emma introduced me to Alex came out, when I apologized to my subject and Sam because I really wasn't feeling it.
She's very attuned to the Simpsons theme music.

I have no idea why they have clothing tags in their drawer but it's the only thing they had so I wrote "Atlas Lab" on one and gave it to Meredith. That's not unusual. I'm sure I'm not the only person who can't find something to write on when I need it.

Rachel was talking about how she only realized her professor was from France because she brought it up.
and Emily was talking about the time she only realized her friend was from Bulgaria because she didn't know what a platypus was.
I've never had that happen to me but I once assumed Gabriella was from somewhere like Bizaqh or Karzistan because of her lilt. If Shakespeare on the Common was Othello or the opera was Verdi's Otello, I'd have said Cyprus.

Emily was confused about some of the recipes in a tea book because they don't look like the kind of snacks you'd eat with tea, they look like appetizers before a meal. Specifically, it was something involving tomatoes and pesto and ginger or something. And she wants the photos in the book to be the actual things you eat, not their ingredients.
Neither Emily nor I drink coffee but we both love coffee-flavored things. I like orange tea a lot. She likes chamomile. It's great if you have a sore throat, which I do.


speaking of the danger zone, Emma tweeted about Zombie Jesus Day, which she probably found while researching me, 'cause she's in the DANGER ZONE. Foru, Emma-ri, sakaito ubi Danger Zone-jho, chokuni okyoshin.
Okay, I know none of my readers have been around since the very beginning so one day Brian was explaining Easter to his Japanese exchange student friend, and his response was "Ohhh, Zombie Jesus Day."

I forgot to bring this up yesterday, because we all need good news after the Hugo Awards fiasco. Atlas Lab deservedly won the poll for Artist of the Month in an online New England music magazine.

Here's another band the site mentions. They're really good too.

Burning Question: So I know this is more personal and certainly not the most vile thing Vox has ever said or done but how in the fucking fuck did the incident in which Vox Day stalked Emma and posted some videos she did on his blog in an attempt to humiliate her not come to light?


a little madness in the spring

Posted on April 04, 2015 at 8:53 pm
Mood: Pelagothuria
Now Playing: Seefeel - Minky Starshine
I picked the right day to come to Boston, as AnimeBoston was happening.

Britta wore an orange hoodie with a sun emblem on it and horns atop, seraphic butterfly wings, gray gloves, orange leggings, orange boots. It's a Swedish name and a German water filtration company.
Ernie and Tamara merely wore silly ties and their badges over street clothing. There isn't any public transit to be drawn on where they're from.
Steve wore a tattered trenchcoat, a black hat, a Pokemon t-shirt, jeans (probably), and a pentagram necklace. Steve said it's the first time anyone's drawn him. Steve thought Britta was a Charizard, but she was something from Homestuck.
Lia and Jill came out the best. Well, her name could just as easily be Léa or Leah. I just wrote Lia because it's the first thing I thought of. I'm pretty sure they're a couple. Lia has a tattoo of a hummingbird on her chest.
Asuka was on the train. I didn't recognize a lot of them because I'm not super into anime and I tend to watch more movies than series. I went on a Miyazakithon a while ago and I watched Makoto Shinkai's latest. 5 cm per second is utterly heartbreaking, by the way. Especially after you've fallen in love with your close friend. I swore that I'd give Azumanga Daioh another chance one of these days.
The woman in a polkadot coat wasn't part of the group.

There was a puddle at the bottom of the stairs.

Someone on the green line told me she loved my style. I can't decide whether having to take the E train instead of the B, C, or D was a perk because there was room, or an antiperk because there weren't any people in outrageous outfits to draw portraits of.
One woman apologized because she kept moving but it came out good anyway.

Speaking of Swedish people, Alexandra said my collaborative drawing with Emma reminded her of Gustav Klimt.
I wanted to show her some of the linoleum block prints I did, but all I have on my iPod was one of the backgrounds, which looks a bit like Claude Monet filtered through his own essence. In Hokusai's case, this wasn't stamped on. Plant dye was put on the blocks and paper was placed over it and the artist would press down on it. It was applied in parts.
I don't even have the scar anymore.
She says I'm right: those tools are sharp. I don't have the scar from it but I do have one where I tripped while mopping the stairs last spring.
She says she's not as good as Hokusai but I'm not either.

I didn't get to see the time capsule. Ruby told me that it was an hour wait and I should come back on a weekday if possible. If I was with a friend of any sort, I'd probably wait in line.

The three most beautiful things according to Tang dynasty poetry are snow, the moon, and flowers. I agree with two of those things.
Hokusai was a collection of wood block prints depicting views of Mount Fuji, scenes from history and mythology, animals, plants, bridges. There was a fan, some toys, a lamp depicting a snake and a dragon, a lamp depicting a tiger and a dragon, a koto, a shamisen, and some other kind of Japanese stringed instrument.

There was an exhibition of photographs after the March 11 tsunami. There's some contemporary Chinese art including a maze of faces, done with paper cutouts. I did something like that but haven't uploaded it to Devianart. I don't see this mentioned on the MFA's website so maybe it's more permanent.

I was talking about Italian and Cape Verdean Creole with a woman who speaks Italian and a guy who isn't Cape Verdean but has a lot of Cape Verdean friends.

There was a woman with green and blue hair waiting for the Ashmont train. I drew her friend/traveling companion/whatever who was dressed more interestingly, even if her hair was less amazing, although red hair is the most awesome natural hair color. And she had some tattoos of dandelions on her leg.

A woman was holding Harvey Dent In Stuffed Bear Form. Okay, he's not actually a Harvey Dent bear, but he reminds me of Harvey Dent, damn it.

Alas, after I got home and walked the dog, I found out the far right hijacked the Hugo Awards. I'm sad about the lack of Vandermeer. And I think I need to read The Goblin Emperor and City of Stairs. Maybe Something Coming Through will get nominated in 2016.

burning question: how does a pizzeria that won't serve pizza for same-sex weddings get over a hundred thousand dollars in donations? You know what would be a good thing to do? For those people to shut up and donate money so that Atlas Lab can make an album. Or better yet, a double album.


distant misgivings

Posted on March 30, 2015 at 10:12 pm
Mood: Cristatella
Now Playing: Ralph Vaughan Williams - A Sea Symphony
It snowed again, though none of it accumulated. That clip of the mailman from Hey Arnold is how everyone in Boston feels right now.

Here are some musical recommendations, courtesy of Emma. I didn't know she was into Nintendocore. I saw that and I'm like "huh, hmm, maybe I'd go if Cathode Rays was there because spoiler alert, I took classes with the guy in Cathode Rays at the Art Institute of Boston back during what may or may not be the Best Summer Ever" and then "or maybe if it was an All Mega Man concert" and then I'm like "wait, I have a Mahler symphony to go to."
Enjoy. Sadly, there aren't any Mega Man tributes.

Shannon said somewhere that she just wants to be Gene. Here's some advice for you: put more lasers, dog barks, and farts in your music. And make Mega Man tributes. I'd say rap about Mega Man but Duane and Brando did that already.

The Wildlife Center got Apple TV which totally explains why there was that icon on my iPod all of a sudden. All I need is a recording of "people of Earth. This is Bartron of the Martian Invasion Force."

I don't have Zofia's response, if she even knows.

Jacob and I were talking about memory, how I never really forget a face, and how I'll remember someone's face but not how I know them, or I'll remember potentially pointless details like what they're wearing, or how I'm bad with names but sometimes when I remember someone's name, I can't attach it to a face, and he says a lot of people do that. At the first Atlas Lab concert, I asked a bunch of people if their name was Erica.

So there are colors we can perceive with our brains that aren't physically possible, like ones that are a subtractive mixture of red and green. It's just a cool thing I learned yesterday that I had to share with everyone.

I recommended Atlas Lab to Zack and someone who came in to check out the place. I don't know how it came up; probably something about synesthesia or bears. Well, okay, I know how it came up with Zack.
That wasn't the first time I fell in love with my friend. That was the first time I told a friend I fell for her. The rest of what I said to Zack, well, I already explained it to you.

Zack said he might not know a lot about women so I gave some of Coach McGuirk's advice, which is "women are a complicated bunch. lemme give you an analogy: they're like grapes. that's all i got. cuz i said bunch. then i thought of grapes. it's not great, but i'm gettin somewhere here, brendan, i'm trying. you know, if i had said 'women are a complicated group,' i would have, uh, thought of, um... shit i thought of grapes again" and he suggested getting some mail-order swords. I don't know what I'd do with them… probably try to exchange them for art or groceries…

This burning question was ganked from Coach McGuirk.
burning question: Who would want swords?


echoes of the past

Posted on March 29, 2015 at 8:46 pm
Mood: paludicella
Now Playing: Bob's Burgers - Carpe Museum
I. The present (Gandolfi - Ascending Light)
Another day of gray oblivion.

A woman asked me about getting a portrait done, and I said "I'm doing you right now, phrasing." She asked me how I got into this and I said that it's because of all the interesting people I see, and I said this to Rachel too, but I'll try to draw people from memory and realize I forgot important details about them like the shape of their nose or some neat-o jewelry they have or something.
"I'm getting off, phrasing."
She said "see you," and I'm like "Boribory ny tany. That's what my friend said. So maybe I will see you again. Take care."

I saw that woman playing hip hop on her violin at the Green Line platform. It's like that episode of The Simpsons where Cypress Hill steals Peter Frampton's orchestra and they play Insane In The Membrane and Marge is like "now this I like" and I really wish there was a full version of it out there. There's a video on Portraits of America, although she had a disco ball last night
While you're there, check out the Human Juke Box.

A woman by the name of Rachel asked me if she could read to me while I was drawing her portrait. I said the perspective was weird but she loved the perspective anyway. I'll send it to you as soon as I find the cord for my camera. And I'll post every complete page of Sketchbook #2, every page of Sketchbook #1, and the portraits I did on the notepad I found on the ground in listen to my heartbeat here. It was chapter 7 of The Last Jew of Treblinka. Something about being made to dig sand and put it somewhere else. I may be misremembering but it struck me as being something pointless and meant only to exhaust the prisoners mentally and physically. Someone on Goodreads called Treblinka "unimaginable, incomprehensible horror." Rachel's voice is quiet and serene.
She says she has a hard time drawing from memory. I showed her my portraits of the woman with the hand of fatima necklace and the woman with a poofy afro.
I almost missed my stop while talking to her.

Thankfully, the path to Pita is protected from the horrid rain snow mix so I didn't need to run up to a random person and grab their umbrella (Archer reference alert!) whilst shouting "Hehehe! Woooo! Alex [censored] strikes again!"

I swear that there's always one guy who goes to the symphony in sweatpants and I'm happy for him because I don't feel underdressed.

Michael Gandolfi's Ascending Light, scored for organ and orchestra (the usual strings, woodwinds, and brass, tubular bells, xylophone, glockenspiel, mark tree, ratchet, triangle), based on Armenian folk songs and done in memoriam of the Armenian Genocide, which relates to my conversation with Rachel. Gandolfi may remind me of Emma, whom someone described as charmingly oblivious, but the genocide thing reminded me of someone who was definitely oblivious but not in the least bit charming. Because she could not comprehend the idea that the same racist gangs that would attack someone for being Tajik would attack her for being Filipino.

It was longer than I thought it would be. I was expecting maybe 10 minutes, followed immediately by Mahler's 6th symphony. It's about half an hour long, broken down into the first movement, Vis Vitalis, the second movement, which is a traditional Armenian lullaby played on solo organs, followed by variations on that theme, a reverie and an Armenian hymn.

Now, since this is a world premiere, there aren't any recordings. Come to think of it, I can't find The Queen and the Conjurer anywhere.

Atlas Lab has four new fans.
I ran into Julia, Justin, Matteo, and Amanda at Park Street Station on the way home (I sketched Julia and Justin on my way in). They were at Bob's Burgers Live, which wasn't so much Bob's Burgers-related skits as it was standup routines by the cast of Bob's Burgers.
It just occurred to Matteo that Eugene Mirman (Gene) and H. Jon Benjamin (Bob) both grew up in Massachusetts. So did Sam Seder (Hugo the Health Inspector).

Amanda says Tina is the best. I kinda agree right now just because I feel like Tina. I even told Julia that Emma was my Jimmy Jr. Julia thought what I said to Emma, which was "you may not be my girlfriend, but you'll always be a wonderful friend" was sweet. I don't always know the right thing to say, but in that situation, I definitely said it.

Julia has Imagine on one wrist and All You Need Is Love on the other wrist, along with some five-pointed stars on a string. She recommended some bands and wrote to them on my map of where the last Atlas Lab concert was. Rocky Erickson, Big Star, and Chris Bell.
Justin has a treble clef on one hand and a bass clef on the others, along with some swirls that were hidden by his coat sleeve.
Matteo is Italian, Ukrainian, and Polish, and has a hat with the triforce on it.
Amanda has something named Heisenberg and I'm uncertain if it's supposed to be a caricature of the physicist or a penguin. Her jacket had that stupid horse from Super Mario World along with a bunch of pins on it.

Julia told me to keep drawing. I said "same to you. Well, follow your passions, whatever they may be." to the four of them. Matteo said that maybe I'd find someone.

See, I told you I wouldn't forget.

II. The Past (Gustav Mahler - Symphony no. 6)
I first heard Mahler's 6th symphony at the end of 2007.

The first movement is a march which wouldn't sound out of place in Star Wars, the second is a scherzo-march, the third is a pastoral adagio, and the fourth wavers from triumph to tragedy.

The second and third can be switched around. Gustav felt the first and second movements sounded similar to each other and switched the two. I think as far as "parallels the way my life was going with each movement was a season," the order the BSO used fit better.

This is his only symphony to end in the minor, rather than in triumph or resignation. Oh, to me, it gives the illusion of triumph, but the two sledgehammer blows take that away.

It's not so much that I don't want to bring up all the messy details. It's just, well, I see things from my perspective, and it's really complicated and I don't understand all of what happened even armed with summaries of entries and chat logs. I'll tell you some important points.

I think that I've always had the ability to get really close to people in a short span of time.

I always feel like I'm on the periphery of friend groups. This has its advantages in that I don't have to start over if things get fucked up and it has its disadvantages, in that I'm never really privy to anything in my friend groups.

It was definitely a sea change. I think I was getting more personal towards the end of 2006 although I wrote personal entries before that, it wasn't just dopey but funny things about squids and weaponized hamsters and liberating cakes with kiwis and strawberries by putting a white box over the cake with the word "BOX" written on all sides so they think their cake has quantum mechanically transformed into a box and walk away. I guess the reality is Gamingforce's journals moved away from personal stuff and towards forum drama. I also think the proto-MRA douchebags like Traumatized Rat and Colonel Skills ran all the decent members out. I picked the worst possible time to say something to Hyde and he hated me for it. And Miyomi was becoming more and more competitive. Sometimes I'm charmingly oblivious too, like that time Miyomi chewed me out for linking to X-Entertainment in her journal.

I did say I was self-absorbed, in that I often blame myself for things that aren't my fault, like maybe someone important to them died or maybe they're figuratively buried under a mountain of work or maybe they just went through a nasty breakup or maybe the moon's in the wrong house. But I don't consider myself selfish.

Summer wasn't exactly idyllic. I gained and lost a friend because she wanted people to talk to her on AIM, and since I thought that she was griping about her life, I thought that meant she was giving me free rein to gripe about my own crisis. Amara had his own crisis. Xpander hates me only because Miyomi does. I remember saying shitty things about Adara but can't remember what they are specifically and can find nothing about them in either AIM logs or the internet. Perhaps it's a false memory. Miyomi was steering me towards that path. It worked out nicely. Adara was busy.
On the other hand, the Landmarks Orchestra started giving free concerts. It started with Beethoven's 9th symphony. That's the first one I went to and I went on the Internet Archive and found out it was their first free concert.

Adara was cordial, if distant, when I last talked to her.
Xpander still hates me. Odd that the one person without a legitimate grievance towards me would be the most hostile.

Let me tell you about the worst feeling imaginable. It's love sickness at the same time you feel like you're going to vomit out your spleen, and they're kind of related but mostly not.

It didn't help that her name was Caitlin, by the way. Or Katelyn. Or Caitlyn.

I don't think we were relationship material anyway. I have a tendency to do that. It's not so much that I don't see cues, it's that I'll see cues that aren't really there. It was like that with Heather. And then I found her on Facebook and then spent the next few weeks operating under the assumption that they were not in fact the same person. Oh, well, I don't think it'd have worked out anyway. Think "she needed a visit from the Shepherd from King Roger"). Jill and I were strictly platonic.

Like the last movement, autumn of 2007 wavered between triumph and tragedy. Kara Mano Iru (one of the few worthwhile people I met on Gamingforce) stopped responding to my messages because I still wasn't over losing a whole fuckton of friends and I made things worse because I thought the distance between us was growing. The hammer blow was when she blew up at me for basically never thinking to ask how her day was going or tell her I was sorry or anything. What I wanted to say was "I'm sorry but it's fucking hard to apologize for something specific when I've wronged you in so many ways." What came out was a lot different. The morning after, she posted a message in the livejournal, telling me to have fun and enjoy life. She'd be impressed with me now. Or at least pleasantly surprised.

Time doesn't heal wounds. You have to fix things yourself.
Things improved next spring between us. There's that bright spot, I guess.

Blue said I was perhaps too much of a romantic for real relationships.

This has fuck-all to do with Emma, by the way. I planned for this to be an entry about 2007 and a musing about how easy and how painful it is to lose touch with friends and almost-lovers all along. Some things change, some things stay the same. It was as true with Caitlin and Danielle as it is with Sarah and Danielle and Adrienne and the green-haired woman.

III. The Future (Atlas Lab - Wake Up Slow)
burning question: There are fourteen and a half million people in New England. Do you think that one of them I encounter will be Sarah or Adrienne or that woman with green and strawberry blonde hair or am I casting stones at the moon?


il pleure (at the turn of the century)

Posted on March 25, 2015 at 12:56 am
Mood: tubulipora
Now Playing: Opium Den - Song For Nelson
Let me tell you, the next few days are a hell of a lot worse. Especially when it's 2 AM and you can't sleep and there's no one around to talk to. Archer marathons help, but only temporarily. It's like the movie Samotari. When you love someone, you give them a piece of your soul. I feel like I'm missing a huge part of me that I'll never get back and that's why it hurts.

Jack told me that horrid kenoma feelings last a while. This is as true in 2015 as it was in 2005.

I didn't mean for the last entry to be so long, it just happened that way. It's the first time I've ever been open about my feelings towards Emma, except for one PM I sent and a conversation with Zofia. Zofia noticed after two conversations. Well spotted.

I want to tell Emma that there is definitely romantic tension and that if she ever feels awkward or uncomfortable around me and if she wants me to give her some personal space and she can paint the mural by herself, that's fine with me. I'm not saying I don't want to be friends with her because I really do.
Jean said my fears of romantic tension are unfounded. I'm not entirely confident about that, but, hey, it will be at least another 45 days before I see her again. A lot of things can change in 45 days.
I told Jean to sum up what happened to Zofia, since it was her idea, and to ask her if she has any advice for where to go from here which involves:
1. letting Gabriella know I'm interested in her romantically.
2. not making her feel like she's my second choice. Nobody ever wants to feel that way.
3. not making her feel like I'm just trying to fill up this kenoma somehow.

I'm sure Kaz heard what I said to Jean but if she has an opinion of it, she kept her mouth shut.

Someone brought their parrot to board, so he had a two-bird conference with Crackers. We gave him a toilet paper tube, he dropped it a few times and then he tossed it. Kaz said he was trying to play fetch with her. Kaz and Crackers did interpretive dance.

Jacob thought Arnold sounded wasted in the commentary for Conan. "look at that attack with Thulsa Doom in front with his helmet." He also says "hipmotized."

I'm pretty sure that listening to A Rose Made Of Galaxies and Winks and Kisses and Automatic For The People is not the way to feel better. I told Asakiyume I was going to listen to entirely ukulele music for the next week but after watching a few Raocow videos in a vain attempt to restore emotional equilibrium, I don't think I was in the mood for it.
I'm not sure what Song For Nelson is, perhaps a paean to the sunrise.

burning question: when you listen to music, do you prefer to listen to music that reflects your current emotional state? I've been listening to Motion Picture Soundtrack a lot, even though I said I'd listen to ukulele stuff because ukuleles should make everyone happy.


emotional signals are chemically encoded in tears

Posted on March 22, 2015 at 6:56 pm
Mood: calliophis
Now Playing: The Moon Seven Times - The Pavement Shines
Remember back when Zofia gave me advice but I wouldn't share it until it became relevant? The advice was this: Ask Emma to be my girlfriend.

It didn't happen that way exactly. What happened is Emma introduced me to Alex, her boyfriend (and the drummer in Atlas Lab) and I'm just taken by surprise because they've been together for a month and she couldn't be fucked to change her facebook status (although the people who work for Facebook have the annoying habit of changing things around when they need something to do, and I seriously wouldn't know how to change my relationship status even if I wanted to and I don't know what it looks like to people who aren't my friend and I can't be fucked to create a sockpuppet account to check) and she's made no indication of it on twitter (no excuse). I'm like "boyfriend? Did I mishear?" and "you're lying to me, aren't you?" and I'm like "damn, I should have let you know how I feel earlier" and I'm thinking "people who are in relationships tend to make a big fucking deal about it. Like 'look at me! look at me! hey hey hey, I'm in a relationship'" and I'm thinking "ah, fuck." I tried to sketch a few people, told them I wasn't feeling it tonight, Atlas Lab played first…

Let me tell you about that.

They played a "new" song. Well, I don't know if it was new. It's unfamiliar to me and it's not on their youtube. It's called Wake Up Slow and it's awesome. Remember how I said Castellana is the best thing Atlas Lab did? I retract that statement. Even the Merzbow-ish noise at the end was beautful. I hope the EP keeps the Merzbow-ish noise. Find a video of Iron, Glass, Blocks and white lights, and skip ahead to about 15:30 or so.

Then they played Trust Fall. You know where you can find Trust Fall. Just play some Merzbow on maximum volume for that "small rock club experience." I wasn't super into it this time. I could barely summon up the energy to dance to it.

So I'm pretty sure I heard Shadow Song at their first concert.
You have the video of Emma covering her own song. Just play frozen guitars and sunloop/7e 802 over it at maximum volume. And there's some stuff at the end.

They played Castellana. Emma called it music for a lovely spring day with snow on the ground.

I thought about leaving right then since I was such a fucking wreck.

Had I walked out on the rest of them, got dinner, and went home, it would probably be a total emotional breakdown and we'd probably never talk again and I'd be apologizing to Jean and Jack and Brody about they're not going to get their mural. I stayed instead. Look, I paid ten dollars to get in and I even had to confirm my adultivity. I even used the word "adultivity" when showing the attendant (who had bright red hair) my ID, and they gave me a neat spiderweb stamp which turned into a blurry mess.
I'm pretty sure I was underage the last time this place updated their website. Just saying.
Drunk Bart was scrawled on the bathroom wall. Later that night, an Atlas Lab sticker ended up on the toilet.

Emma saw me being mopey and told me she still wants to be friends with me. I told her that she may not be my girlfriend but she'll always be a wonderful friend.

I spent the rest of the night chatting with Emma, Sam, and a bunch of Emma's friends. Mostly Emily and Hilary. Just not Alex. I told someone to never mind about something and then told Alex "never mind, and also shut up," even though he didn't say anything. It's not that I don't like him. Au contraire, in fact. I just didn't want to talk to him because he doesn't need all that super-awkwardness.

I'm glad she couldn't hear me, because I said something incredibly stupid. It's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard but that's because Spacebunny has a twitter account in which she scours twitter for things that offend her and responds with profoundly stupid. What she lacks in intelligence, she more than makes up for it in single-mindedness. If you're wondering what I said, I said "so maybe if things don't work out with Alex, would you consider dating me?", and I'm pretty sure Emma didn't hear me because she was still going on about online dating and meeting people with common interests.

See, stupid. It's even worse because a few years ago, I brought up Pitchshifter and it reminded me of my friend and how he once suggested waiting for someone I liked to break up with her boyfriend and I called it the dumbest advice anyone's ever given me and here I am saying it to Emma. I'm only posting it because it's stupid and because I actually wonder what her answer is. I then apologized for saying something that stupid to her and I'm pretty sure she didn't hear what that stupid thing was because she told me not to worry about it; everyone says stupid things from time to time.

Great guy, really. Just about the worst person to ask for any advice involving relationships. And he had a tendency to lie about trifling things. That's cool. I lie too. I've lied by omission and I've lied to myself. If I remembered his name, I'd look him up right now. Probably for the best. He's probably married and that would make me facepalm so hard I'd shit teeth.

Seriously, though, breaking couples up is a good way to get them to never talk to you again. And, well, there's really no way to predict which relationships will fail and when they fail.

We met a guy who was going to Zombie Valentines afterwards.
I wasn't worried about the not very bloody bandages on his head or the torn shirt because I thought he was in a band or something.

Someone said he was going to see Casey Desmond, which is awesome because I actually know her.
It's weird to look outside, see the sun still out at 6:30, when it still feels like January out there.

I told her not to worry about being in Cyprus and Ankara and Greece from mid-April until early May (I told her to avoid the Arab world unless she wants to return home in a coffin unless she knows what she's doing) and that we wouldn't be able to talk in private for a long time, it was her idealism and her talent that made me fall in love with her in the first place. She thanked me for that.

She's been to Malawi, she's been to Mexico and Saint Something and the US Virgin Islands. I told her I wanted to go to Socotra somehow, even if it is the worst of all possible places. I guess that's why it's so pristine. You can get there from the Yemeni mainland or you can get there from Somalia, and there aren't any tourists to cover the place with their beer cans. Everybody knows about Somalia already so I won't bother. The thing about Yemen is that Al Qaeda comes off as the good guy there. If you're wondering how the other guys accomplished that, well, their flag has "kill the Jews" on it.

I still want to talk to her in private, mostly about the things I want to say to Alex and Gabriella, whenever possible, probably the MFA on Memorial Day, although I'm hoping I run into Gabriella there, if not at Mahler's 6th next week or at Don Giovanni in early May. We're still going to do the mural at the wildlife center together. We're still going to go to summer concerts together. I'm still going to share her taste in music with my readers. I'm not going to worry about taking her to see Chameleon play but maybe next season, I'll go with Gabriella. In fact, if things work out with her, maybe we can see la Boheme together. And I'll probably drag Alex to see The Pearl Fishers. Everything's going to be ok.

She told me to not rush things with Gabriella, to tell her that I really like her a lot and that I really enjoy spending time with her. I'm just hoping everything works out. She says it's hard, she said that she didn't know how I felt about her and I thought she liked me back. I told her that I see signals that aren't really there. I didn't lie about already pretty much being in a relationship with her, we merely saw the same thing different ways. Fear of rejection is a part of it, but at least my fear of destroying a wonderful friendship over different desires turned out to be unfounded.
I told her I didn't want to say anything because she's amazing and Gabriella's amazing too and I was really hoping one of them would make the first move. At least I don't have to deal with the agony of choice.

Since I asked and I'm most likely not going to see Gabriella until summer, and normally I like most of spring but I'm not in the fucking mood right now, spring is 92 days and 19 hours too long and I just wish it was mid July right now, and anywhere from one third to one half of those 92 days and 20 hours are completely shitty. Maybe even three quarters in a bad year, like 2009.

Spoiler alert for anyone who might be contemplating sabotaging my relationship with Gabriella, I just want you to know that I haven't told you anything, so you can't. You don't have her contact information. You don't know anything about her. So good fucking luck with that, ok.

We all did Zoidberg impressions because there are space lobsters in galaga. Horray for Zoidberg! With an emotional breakdown dry mouth, that didn't sound very Zoidbergy. One guy got to stage 5 in one life but the commenter's curse got him. He got a game over when one of the space lobsters managed to avoid every one of his shots.

I told Emma to check out my livejournal and sent her a link via Twitter so there will be no plans for throwing acid in their kissy faces and no elaborate plans to kidnap their baby and sending her to live in a monastery in Bhutan and no human bait cars. The solution to every problem isn't throwing frigging acid on it, unless your problem is a solution with an overly alkaline pH balance. If you want to do that shit for your own reasons, go plan it out somewhere else; you aren't welcome here. However, sabotaging the EP by turning into intense Japanoise layered over dreamy trip hop has my blessing. Everyone wins with that plan. I don't think that's ever been done. You're probably asking how that would hurt their relationship, and I'm going to answer with "hurt the what now?"

Sam isn't Japanese, though. I don't know what he is. Emma doesn't know what he is. Nobody knows what he is. Not even Sam knows what he is. I assumed something like Zuleekistan or Bizaqh or even the Emirate of Mekzaes. Maybe Immeen, but he doesn't hate women and if he was Immeenish or Immeeni (I checked The Wolf of Winter and The Grand Ellipse and they seem to be interchangeable, or maybe one's a demonym and one's a language), he would not only go along with Cheryl's plan but have a jar of acid on him at all times for situations like that. I do know that Emma is Swedish, Irish, Scottish, and English, and Alex is Russian (damn it, I had something for this!). The Volskyland equivalent of Russia is Rhazaulle, if you're wondering. I'd say you probably aren't interested but if you're here, you probably are interested.
I'm pretty sure that Immeen is a fictionalized Iran.

Speaking of places that aren't real, someone signed up for the mailing list with the name "penis" and location of "up your ass."
Emma found their table on the side of the road. I thought it was just an ordinary table with a lamp clamped on, but nope. The lamp was an integral part of the table. On the table were demo CDs which disappeared quickly, stickers, and really awesome drawings in pencil and gel pen. I'm getting one in exchange for a Klimt-style painting of Emma. I feel like somewhere right now, there's some guy in a shopping cart wrapped up in Atlas Lab stickers.

I told Emma I could barely tolerate the smell of alcohol, and that's why I don't drink. I'm not a follower of the Gifted Iyecktor or anything. It reminds me of that one time we had a fly problem at the wildlife center and we were laying out vinegar traps to catch them.

The other bands were
Jet Black Sunrise
Happy Time Harry
King Pleaxure

The guy from Parasoma thought I looked familiar and that I saw him last week there but I've never been to TT's before. Parasoma describes themselves as desert rock, like Soundgarden or Kyuss. I think of desert rock as The Moon Seven Times.
I really did enjoy them, especially Jet Black Sunrise and Parasoma.
I was totally gobsmacked because hey, a show where a band is scheduled to play at 5 PM and they play at 5 PM. I guess it's because everyone used Jet Black Sunrise's drum set. You'd be gobsmacked too if the last time you saw them play, they were scheduled for 10 PM and played their first song at 10:45.

When I told her about Airiel, I sent her the song that was written about Jeremy's worst breakup but makes me think of the love I'll never have from her. I didn't tell her what the song was about, I just gave her the link. She'll know when she reads this.

I got some Indian food because all I had for the entire day was a bottle of Coke, ate the crispy bread with spicy stuff and green stuff and very viscous brown stuff and about three bites of curry before I realized "ehh, I'm still not in the mood" and took it home.

I got no sleep. I tried to watch some Raocow videos at 2 AM. It sucks because it's still Smarch, so it's too fucking cold for an all-nighter of Raocow videos and Airiel, or really, to do anything but toss and turn in bed.

Last time this happened, it took me about two weeks to restore my emotional equilibrium.

Maybe I'll see the woman with green hair again. We bonded briefly over classical music. She seemed kinda embarrassed about listening to it when I asked but I told her I had Carmina Burana on my iPod and I saw King Roger two weeks ago and I'm seeing Mahler in a week and boom, common interests. Emma would be impressed. Unfortunately, she had to get off (phrasing, boom. Inappropriate) before she got a quality portrait, or how I want to drag Alex kicking and screaming to see The Pearl Fishers and I really shouldn't have to explain why.
Maybe I'll see her again. Maybe I'll run into Sarah.

And, hey, a lot of things can change in four months, for good or for ill. Just ask Sarah.

hey, the title's a Harrison reference. I haven't read Signs of Life and can't even find samples of it, and the chapter title from Empty Space fit my situation more. If you can tell me what I'm trying to evoke with my writing style, I'll paint something for you.
Three people I encountered had green hair. One had green and black in a ponytail and between her outfit of a leather jacket, skirt, stockings, and combat boots, and her friend who had naturally red hair, they reminded me of Ghost World, one had green tips on reddish-blonde, one had a green fuzzy mohawk thing. There was a woman with pink hair too. Pink tips.

To Emma, I'm sorry for making everything super-awkward, even though I know you said I don't need to keep apologizing. Thank you for your support and friendship and thanks for staying with me and thanks for making me feel better and I really did enjoy last night despite everything. Wish me luck, okay?
To Alex, you mustn't squander something so wonderful.

Everyone deserves a happy ending.

burning question: I hoped I'd be able to keep this together, but life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. Have you noticed that? It really doesn't.


abandoned cities

Posted on March 16, 2015 at 6:39 pm
Mood: alcyonidium
Now Playing: 6LA8 - Prayers Cannot Amend Generations of Neglect
4 days until the vernal equinox
I wasn't planning to post until later in the week, but this is important.
If any of my readers want to donate to this, that would be wonderful. Have two strangers pick cards with a question that looks beyond the conflict and focuses on their shared humanity and a color. Have them sit down and discuss their answers for a while, and then mix the colors and fill in part of the map. Make a timelapse video and post it on Youtube. I love this idea and hope she can apply it to other places. Preferably Boston but if anywhere else needs it, definitely do it there. She's right: there's this great distance between us and we're losing our sense of human connection despite our physical proximity, and it's even worse in some places because people there all go from point A to point B in their little bubbles, and they don't even get a chance to interact with someone else and we do a lot of shopping online now and that definitely cuts down on human interaction further.

I'm confident that she could pull it off without my help. That's cool, I guess.

As long as there are people like Emma in the world, life is worth living.
I think Aleppo might be the largest urban ruin in existence.

This would totally be Happening World if Livejournal existed in the 1970s but now it's just Context. Here's what happened to Cyprus: Certain factions planned to remove Turks from the government and unify with Greece in the early sixties. When the military took power in Greece, even the most hardliner Cypriot Greeks were no longer super-duper peachykeen about enosis. In the mid 70s, Greece had a brand new military dictator who stripped all the illusions of benevolent dictatorship over when he took over from the previous regime and his first act as dictator was to annex Cyprus and overthrow the democratically elected government. Then Turkey invaded back. Two days later, the Greek junta collapsed on itself. Same year the Carnation Revolution happened.

See, I don't believe there's a such thing as a benevolent dictatorship but that didn't stop Greece from portraying itself as one.

Also, the play Othello takes place there.

Emma was confused when I told her about how Emma was going to Cyprus to make art, not war. I didn't have time to explain things to Emma so I just wrote down some stuff on a card. I checked and she should be able to find the right thing, and she put it in her coat pocket and fastened it shut so she shouldn't lose it. I had to warn her about the pocket gremlins, though. Spoiler alert: The Color Exchange is a hair salon in Illinois and a band from North Carolina.

Things are finally calming down after a winter where animals came in to us malnourished because they couldn't find food. We have a screech owl and someone needs to look at his eyes just to make sure they aren't messed up. Screech owls hunt insects and usually hunt near light sources because that's where moths hang out, and this oftentimes causes them to get hit by cars. There are two hawks with rodenticide poisoning and since rat poison fucks with their ability to clot, we give them lots of vitamin K and then we look at their blood after a normal diet and if it clots the way it should, we release them.

On the other hand, our first baby squirrels arrived and a swan came to us, underweight and lethargic. When swans are underweight and lethargic, it's safe to assume they have lead poisoning.

Speaking of naming European countries, Jean said she was the worst person to ask and things like that are why she went into science and not geography. Zack blanked, thought of France.

Jean went to a concert that began at six PM and the headlining band didn't play until midnight. I know what she means.

None of these bands were recommended by Emma. Justine recommended Morning and I think Christine recommended the rest. I've only listened to Morning.
I'm recommending them because of their name alone. Single Female Lawyer, fighting for her client! Wearing sexy miniskirts and being self-reliant!


I have some other thoughts but don't think they fit amongst such idealism and beauty, so they'll have to wait.

burning question: who liked a spam comment 233 times?


attempts to make time pass differently

Posted on March 13, 2015 at 8:41 pm
Mood: acanthodesia
Now Playing: Lilys - Tone Bender
6 days until the vernal equinox
Wednesday really got my hopes up.

I meant to say this last week: There are easier, cheaper, and quicker ways to determine sex. I'm just saying it's possible to do it by looking at their chromosomes.

I found out that Incubus has a song called Trust Fall. I prefer Atlas Lab's version, of course.
A trust fall, I've learned, is a real thing. Hank Scorpio does one and Homer hits the floor because Hank has to answer the phone. Don't chalk that one up to mistrust, now.

We can now test for lead ourselves.

A fossil collector discovered an intact gigantic anomalocaris, which were the apex predator before sharks and eurypterids, in Morocco. This explains how insect limbs, specifically, the branches on insect limbs, evolved.

Jack, who is partially if not wholly Greek, tried and failed to learn Greek.
Emma, who is partially Hungarian and partially Polish and 99 percent Ashkenazi Jew and says there's always a 1% something else no matter who you are, is biased towards learning Spanish because it's nice-sounding.
I said that Spanish and French are taught in most schools because they're such commonly spoken languages. Greek, not so much. Maltese* to me sounds like a mixture of Italian and Arabic. I couldn't find the video of Nuxalk I was looking for when he asked about my favorite languages and the Maltese language video I found was a Maltese-speaker saying words in her language for an English-speaker, rather than someone speaking Maltese.
*You know, where the poofy dogs** are from.
**Come to think of it, I think I met a Maltese named Emma. Dog, not human nationality.

We need more King Rogers and fewer King Mswatis and King Salmans.

I had to tell them about this: A person is biologically white if they are of at least 15/16ths (93.75%) consanguinity of non-Jewish, non-Asiatic European ancestry, descendants of the autochthonous Peoples of the contemporary states of Austria, Belarus, Belgium, Britain, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Ireland, Latvia, Lithuania, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Russia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden, Switzerland, and Ukraine.

Italy is only the 5th largest country in Europe*, sixth if you include all of Turkey instead of just the portion of Turkey located in Europe. I can understand not including the tiny countries, because they can fit into Rhode Island and have a combined population less than West Virginia. I can understand not including Cyprus because it honestly looks like it's in Asia, and don't give me that crap about how Cyprus is culturally European because nobody, and I mean nobody, considers New Zealand to be in Europe. But since his list includes Estonia and Belarus, I'm going to assume the lack of Italy was a deliberate exclusion rather than an oversight he made while listing every European country that came to mind and then alphabetizing them. Nay, he probably went through a list of countries and deleted all the countries he didn't like and all the tiny countries except for Iceland and then deleted Serbia for good measure. Also, I don't know if Muslims are lumped in with Asiatics (but Jews aren't? That's like anti-semitism 101.) or he just forgot to mention them when he didn't include Macedonia, Bosnia, and Albania (or Serbia or Croatia for that matter) in his list of white nationalities.
*this sentence makes me think that English needs either Hungarian's flexible word order or those punctuation marks Hervé Bazin used. The kind where you could tell which Emma I'm talking about by punctuation alone instead of having to rely on something like context. Spoiler alert: I'm not talking about artist Emma.

Sometimes I forget that Belgium and the Netherlands exist, but that's more Sporclitis than ignorance.

I'm going to ask some people who aren't Emma, Jack, or Brody to name some European countries.

I have other thoughts on this but I'm blanking right now. So here's the
burning question: hold on the fuck on, Movieguide. Grand Budapest Hotel had more explicit sex and nudity than her? her has light sex and moderate nudity. I can understand the moderate nudity part. But only in one scene and that scene is more awkward than explicit.


after all the aching silence

Posted on March 08, 2015 at 9:18 pm
Mood: Dicrodon
Now Playing: Karol Szymanowski - King Roger
11 days until the Vernal Equinox

What I mean by "I've never seen instagram change their URL format," what I mean is "instagram changed their url format recently but all the old images have their original urls. Unlike a certain other site."

King Roger was overwhelmingly beautiful. The musical equivalent of staring directly at an eclipse. The program mentions the influence of Strauss and Debussy and Rimsky-Korsakov and Scriabin. I could definitely hear echoes of Daphnis et Chloe in there, especially in the second act's dance. By the way, you had to use your imagination. I don't think anyone could have pulled it off in Symphony Hall, unless you moved the orchestra to the seats. There's the orchestra, eight soloists, and at least 150 choir members.

Think of Act I as Byzantine, Act II as Middle Eastern, and Act III as Greco-Roman. In fact, the chorus sings in Greek. A shepherd appears in the wilds of Sicily preaching a religion of peace, joy, and love, spiritual but not dogmatic, and King Roger brings him before him. The queen, Roxana, is intrigued but the church wants him put to death. Roger orders his execution but Edrisi pleads for his release. Roger confides to Edrisi that his fear of the shepherd stems from Roxana's enchantment. The Shepherd shows up in Indian clothing, his followers perform a dance and runs off with Roxana. The Shepherd is revealed to be Dionysus, brings everyone together in "almost unbearable joy" and everyone vanishes except for Roger and Edrisi. Roger sings a hymn to the sunrise.

The real life Roger II is similar in that he continued the Emirate's policy of multiculturalism and tolerance but this is pure fantasy.

It's a rarely-performed opera, but its message of tolerance is as relevant today as it was in the 1920s and it's message will sadly be forgotten soon as it was forgotten in its time, the horrors of Chełmno, Treblinka, Majdanek, Auschwitz-Birkenau, Sobibór, and Bełżec began a few years after Szymanowski died.

if you want to listen to this and follow along in Polish, go here. The chorus in Act I sings in Greek.

It's definitely fitting that I just finished Only Begotten Daughter (spoiler alert: it's about the daughter of God) and just started The Wall Around Eden (spoiler alert: Joan Slonczewski and Karol Szymanowski are both ethnically Polish).

The river was completely frozen. I'm looking out the window thinking "holy shitsnacks," and one of the women I sketched said it's been like that for a while.

I saw a guy dressed as The Joker and a woman dressed as Harley Quinn.

I had to get off at Symphony so when someone took a picture of the sketchbook page, they had to play Where's Waldo to find themselves. You know you've watched Archer too much when you say "I'm getting off" and think to yourself "phrasing."

I've never seen a Green Line train that packed at 10 PM. Inbound Green Line train at that. Usually, it's "ok, so there aren't any seats left. Fine." or "aww, everyone got on before me again."

A woman was singing on the platform at Park Street. Meanwhile, on another part of the platform, someone was playing guitar and harmonica at the same time. On the other side was a woman with neon pink hair.

A man and a woman each wearing cowboy hats had to get off at South Station or Downtown Crossing.

Some people were quoting a poem or set of stories, about how no matter how bad things seem, they could be worse and others have survived far worse. I only got one of their names: Rachel. There was an Emily but I'm not sure which one of them was Emily. I think there might be at least one Emma in the group, or perhaps Sarah. Maybe there was a Leanne or Sam. I don't know.

I'm going to delay the Grand Budapest Hotel/her burning question AGAIN to ask this because I think it's a good question.
burning question: when (if) you listen to lengthier compositions, do you prefer to always hear them from start to finish, or, like me, do you listen to them in smaller chunks?


the waters stilled

Posted on March 06, 2015 at 8:01 pm
Mood: Tupinambis
Now Playing: 2:54 - in the mirror
14 days until the vernal equinox
And it's about time too. The only things I have on my deep freeze playlist are Mono, Cave In, Bark Psychosis, Elf Fatima, Massive Attack, Tankbund, and Lovesliescrushing. Everything else I discover in the winter gets absorbed into playlists for other seasons. Like Slowdive and Lush did. Like The Curtain Society did. It gets kind of tiring after a while. See the burning question.

I had a dream where I died and my anima transmigrated wrong so my new body ended up with my old memories. Then my teeth fell out and they were wrapped in green cloth. And then I couldn't get back to sleep because I'm so lovesick I'm getting abdominal cramps.

I called it an anima in the dream probably because in real life, Anima crashlanded in the Atlantic Ocean and is turning it to crystal. This process may have reversed by now, the freezing point of ocean water is somewhere around 27°F.

I had a dream where the spy agency formerly known as ISIS were all playing a game of cards and they were all trying to cheat and Kreiger was using one of his inventions to read their minds.

I had a dream where we were at this tower watching this game with one net, thirty players on each, and one goal net, and they would all try to kick the ball in to the goal and once they tried it, successful or not they would leave the field, and it would go on until all the players are gone. The tower didn't look stable, like it was made out of cardboard, so I thought that if I was dreaming, I could just jump down.

I woke up with a German antifascist song from the Spanish civil war stuck in my head. I think it had new Spanish lyrics in the dream but since I have a hard time remembering things said in dreams and I don't speak Spanish or German, I don't know.

Here are some band recommendations courtesy of Emma (the artist, not the wildlife center's Emma, although I am thinking of asking her for band recommendations): 2:54 and Honeyblood. In The Mirror by 2:54 is my latest addiction.

I got to see a Argentine black and white tegu, nameless until someone figures out which sex it is. I thought Spyro's nails were bad.
I said there are plenty of gender neutral names out there.
On the other hand, Lisa performed a neutering on a bunny named Sophie. She knows someone with a male tabby named Rose. Which is ok because there are guys with the last name Rose.

I wondered aloud if the reason the death penalty is so common in the US is because juries are selected for people who believe in the death penalty. I feel like supporters of the death penalty are the kinds of people who want to come off as tough on crime and think the mere act of being on trial is tantamount to guilt too.

In 2013, Papua New Guinea introduced the death penalty for crimes like rape, robbery, and sorcery murder, which means that if someone dies under mysterious circumstances or any circumstances, you can have your enemies killed!
Courtney gave them too much credit and said it might have only been condemning ritualized murder. 1. Murder is likely already a capital crime and it's not like being ritualized will result in more death penalty and 2. Very superstitious population, probably run by an inept, brutal, and cash-poor government and missionaries who care more about propagating their beliefs than bringing any real progress to the country. I might be wrong about the second part.

Wait, inept, brutal, and cash-poor? Hm, the only Central Asian country that has the death penalty is Tajikistan. Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan most likely rely on extrajudicial killings.

A guy who was capable of a really awesome Jabba the Hutt voice in passable backwards Quechua* nicknamed the store's ferrets Jabba the Ferret because he's really big and Boba Ferret because he's Jabba's companion.
*I looked this up and apparently, the stuff Greedo says to Han consists of Quechua-ish nonsense with some Quechua words thrown in. And one of the voices in the cantina scene is a tape of someone speaking Tsėhésenėstsestȯtse (Cheyenne) played backwards.

I'm sorry I keep editing entries ten minutes after I post them.

A few animals got released. They were in small boxes so I'm assuming they're ducks.

If you like watercolors, skeletons, and faux-Nahuatl Codex Seraphianus logolalia, enjoy this art. I've never seen instagram change their URL format but just to make sure, I'm posting them on Imgur.

Here's more.
Pronounced like "hwee," I do believe.


I'll ask the question related to her and The Grand Budapest Hotel I had very soon, I promise.
Burning Question: Anybody want to recommend some minimalist post-rock or subdued but not pastoral choral music? And trip-hop. Sorry to edit things in the morning after I post.

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